Podcaturday returns this week with some much needed improvements. I say “much needed” because they make the editing process that much easier. Which means I can be that much lazier when putting it all together for you people. Anything that makes my job easier is a “much needed” improvement, trust me.

Anyway, this week seems like an all TV/movie bonanza, since that’s all The Beans, Acadia, and I talk about. Hey, don’t blame us. Blame Dr. Nob who has a clip from Snakes on a Plane in his DWoTW segment, and CNN who asked about TV story arching. If you have something else you want us to talk about, call the hotline at 206-888-1710. That reminds me, I still have to change the automated greeting…

Welcome back to another episode of UNLEASHED. We’re sponsored by the fine folks at Permuted Press, and when I say “we’re,” I mean me.

On this episode I talk briefly about the ESCAPE saga, and there’s a very special interview with the author of FATED, S.G. Browne.

Here’s the rundown:

• 00:00:01 – Intro.
• 00:00:50 – Grab a copy of the newest release in the Permuted Press/Simon & Schuster book deal, Thunder and Ashes by Z.A. Recht.
• 00:02:30 – ESCAPE is once again available for pre-order, and you can also grab a signed and numbered copy complete with certificate of authenticity.
• 00:04:49 – Promo: Jake Bible’s Dead Mech.
• 00:05:45 – Interview with author S.G. Browne. Go and grab yourself a copy of his new book, FATED, right now!
• 00:56:46 – Have a great holiday season, everyone. Bye bye.

Enjoy!

On March 15, 2012, my debut novel ESCAPE will make its way to publication from Simon & Schuster and Permuted Press. While that is still a year away, I have something in my back pocket right now that I’d like to offer you all. I had to bribe a few folks, and there may have even been some broken thumbs involved (not mine), but the result is something special for you, dear reader.

25 copies of ESCAPE that are signed, numbered, and come complete with a certificate of authenticity.

BOOM! How you like them apples?

Now, don’t go getting greedy. You won’t come into possession of these until ESCAPE is published next year, but they are up for sale right now, and once they’re gone – that’s it. No more.

Earlier this year I gave away 40 copies with a $25 donation to help raise money for a very special promotion that will be happening early in 2011. You thought I forgot about that, didn’t you? Shame on you! If you donated then, I thank you, and encourage you to grab another copy to pass out to your friends. You’ll be the hit of the party, trust me!

You can reserve a signed and numbered copy of ESCAPE complete with a certificate of authenticity for just $20, which includes shipping to anywhere in there world! All you have to do is click the BUY NOW button at the bottom to reserve your copy before they’re all gone!

Want to know more about the book, including the new synopsis? Click here.

25 signed and numbered copies of ESCAPE complete with a certificate of authenticity.

That’s it. No more. Once they’re gone, they’re gone.

What are you waiting for? Get yours now!

ESCAPE

Signed and Numbered $20.00

 

Welcome back to another episode of Podcaturday. This week The Beans, Acadia and I are talking the apocalypse, The Walking Dead, and of course, Dr. Nob is back with his Dirty Word of the Week, which is by far the dirtiest of dirty words! Damn.

Speaking of Podcaturday, the moment you have all be waiting for is finally here. Yes, the rumors are true. We have a Facebook page. It just started, but throughout the week we’ll be posting funny shit we find online. Feel free to join in on all the fun and follow us on Facebook.

Remember, the voice mail number to call in is 206-888-1710.

Enjoy!

The saga with ESCAPE continues, as it is now available to pre-order once again at many online retailers.

If you remember, I told you of the release date change, as well as the departure of the pre-order button on Amazon.com from the trade paperback version. The new release date for ESCAPE is December 1, 2011 from Simon & Schuster and Permuted Press, and now it’s back to pre-order, just not on Amazon.com in trade paperback form. You can still pre-order it for your Kindle, though. Funny how that works.

You can pre-order ESCAPE now on the following websites:

Book Depository

Borders

Chapters/Indigo (Canadian Customers)

Amazon UK

Amazon Canada

Amazon (Kindle)

Amazon (Print)

With the return of ESCAPE to pre-order at many online retailers, I hope those of you who missed out on grabbing a copy after the pre-order button from Amazon was taken away, will now go back and grab a copy in advance from one of the stores listed above.

Keep in mind that the “new” version of ESCAPE, is going to be much, much, different than the podcast novel you heard before. There’s a different plot, new characters, and whole lot more zombie action, which is going to make for a more exciting, nail biting story that is going to keep you on the edge of your seat. Guaranteed!

So what are you waiting for? Spread the word and let people know that ESCAPE is back!

I love traveling the world, seeing the different sites that countries other than my own have to offer. I love it even more when I don’t have to leave the comfort of my own home to do it. Okay, that’s a lie. In fact, I’ve never even been out of North America. Ever. But my name has, thanks to my pal David Moody.

Below is the cover for the UK edition of the re-release of Autumn by David Moody. If you’ve never, ever, read this novel, I strongly suggest you pick up a copy for yourself. I got the chance to read it last year and provide David with a blurb for it, and I was completely blown away at how well it was written. The characters, the settings; they all just suck you in, immersing you in this post-apocalyptic world that seems all too real. This isn’t just another zombie novel, though. No, this one’s got heart, and focuses on the people and their relationships, as well as providing nail-biting action that leads to one of the best endings I’ve ever read. It began online, was released by a small press, and got picked up by St. Martin’s Griffin here in the States, and Gollancz in the UK, where it was released in hardcover. Heck, its even been made into a movie!

Here’s the cover of the UK hardcover version of Autumn, which features a nice little blurb by me right below another one of my good friends, Jonathan Maberry. While I’ve never been to the UK, it’s nice to know at least a little part of me has, thanks to David Moody and Autumn!

Click image to enlarge.

Well, after a month of radio silence I have finally gotten the go ahead from my editor at Simon & Schuster to move forward with the new version of ESCAPE!

If you remember, I told you what was going on in October, and expressed my frustration over this whole process. I also explained that the solution for all of it was an entirely new version of ESCAPE, one that’s tighter, more action packed, and keeps some of the same characters you know and love, and adds new ones that I’m sure you’ll hate with every fiber of your being (in a good way, of course).

It’s full steam ahead now with the new manuscript, which means I’ll be pouring most of my energy into that from this point forward.

Don’t forget, though, you can still pre-order the limited edition print version of Hull’s Landing which begins shipping on March 1, 2011. It’s a supernatural crime thriller that I know you’ll love. There’s just a handful of copies left, so get your grubby little paws on one of just 100 before they’re gone!

Thank you for sticking by me through all of this! I just know that you guys are going to love the new version of ESCAPE. I won’t be revealing any plot details any time soon, not until the manuscript is finished, anyway. So you’ll just have to hang tight, but know this – the new version will also be podcasted for free as the new release date for the book (December 1, 2011) gets closer and closer.

Stay tuned!

For those that have pre-ordered the limited edition print version of Hull’s Landing so far, you didn’t have to wait long for the new cover art to be revealed, because here it is.

When you get your limited edition copy delivered to you in June of 2011, this will be the image staring back at you from the front cover. Of course it will be a little crisper and cleaner, this is just a sample JPEG. We’ve done pretty good with pre-orders so far, but there’s still a handful of copies left for those that want to get in on the action.

What do you have to do to pre-order? Read this post and it will give you all the details, including how you can listen to the first six episodes of the free audio version, as well as download a free PDF excerpt of the first three chapters to pass along to your friends.

Remember, the limited edition print version of Hull’s Landing is capped at just 100 copies that are signed and numbered and include features that won’t be found in the e-book version, including this amazing new cover. Pre-order your copy today before they’re gone!

I read quite a few books this year, and even though the year’s not over yet, I’d thought I’d take a moment to share some of my favorites with you. Keep in mind that this is not a list of NEW books that have come out in 2010, although the great many are, but it is just a list of books I’ve enjoyed, and wanted to pass along. So here they are in no particular order:

Rot & Ruin by Jonathan Maberry – One of the first young adult zombie novels to hit the shelves. This one’s got heart, and fantastic action. I’m not afraid to say that I actually shed a tear toward the end of the novel. Great read!

Fungus of the Heart by Jeremy C. Shipp – A collection of short stories from one of the premiere authors of bizzaro fiction. Shipp’s tales grip you and pull you in in such a way that you forget you’re reading a story.

Toothless by J.P. Moore – A different take on the zombie genre set in 12th century France. Moore’s tale is well written, blending the Templars and zombies in a way you would never think possible.

Ex-Heroes by Peter Clines – I wrote a blurb for this book, but had to read it again when it came out. This one blends superheroes and zombies in L.A. in one of the best debut novels I have ever read. Clines is going to go far, you can bet on it.

Fated by S.G. Browne – Another book I got a chance to read before its recent release. I can’t say enough good things about S.G. Browne or his writing. His unique voice captures you from page one and doesn’t let go.

Blockade Billy by Stephen King – I love Stephen King. He’s my favorite author of all-time, and Blockade Billy was a real treat for me to pick up and flip through in a couple of sittings. It’s a small novella, but doesn’t disappoint.

Geist by Philippa Ballantine – Normally I don’t truck much with fantasy, but Philippa’s writing is so rich and beautiful, that I was drawn into this story almost instantly.

Ancestor by Scott Sigler – Hard science mixed with horror? No one is doing it better right now than Scott Sigler, and Ancestor is proof of that. Gruesome, thrilling, an edge of your seat ride.

Cthulu’s Reign: Edited by Darrel Schweitzer – A bunch of tales based on H.P. Lovecraft’s famous mythos. Don’t let the reviews fool you, I had a lot of fun with this book.

Money Shot by Christa Faust – I love Hard Case Crime books, and I love Crista Faust. Her writing is crisp, tight, and she weaves a damn good tale.

No House Limit by Steve Fisher – Another Hard Case Crime book. This one was a delight to pick up and read. I love the whole seedy underworld of casinos and crime mixed together, and this was a lot of fun.

The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty – I read this at least once or twice a year. I read it earlier in the year, and am reading it again now. Hands down one of my favorite novels ever.

Young Junius by Seth Harwood – Another crime thriller by a fresh voice in the genre. Harwood pulls you into his world using language that is all to real, making you feel like you’re a part of it.

The Dragon Factory by Jonathan Maberry – The sequel to Patient Zero in the sense that it features the main character, Joe Ledger, back for more action. Maberry’s writing isn’t bogged down with flowery language and useless description. His work reads like a big budget Hollywood action flick. Fast paced and compelling, the way a good thriller should be.

Origin by J.A. Konrath – Another fun read from Konrath. I finally got around to picking it up on Smashwords this year and giving it a go, and boy am I glad I did. This one had me on the edge of my seat, laughing at times, and scowling at the characters for…well, give it a go and you’ll see what I mean.

So there you have it. I didn’t bother too much with descriptions. For that you can just click the links and see what you think. They’re just a bunch of books I read, and enjoyed, and wanted to share with you. Hopefully you’ll give some of them a go if you haven’t already, and if so, I’d be interested to know what you thought of some of them.

Okay folks, today is the day. It’s time to pre-order your copy of the limited edition print version of Hull’s Landing. Remember, only 100 of these are going to be in existence. Once they’re gone, they’re gone for good! So get your order in early to avoid disappointment later on.

These will begin shipping in June 2011. The cost for these limited edition copies of Hull’s Landing is just $20 a piece, and that includes shipping to anywhere in the world. Order one, or as many as you’d like, it’s totally up to you.

Each limited edition print copy will will be numbered and signed by yours truly and include:

A brand new cover different from the e-book version you see here (see it now)

A special introduction not found in the e-book copy.

An special afterword on the writing of Hull’s Landing also not found in the e-book version.

All that, and maybe even a few bonus goodies thrown into your parcel for good measure for just $20.

Want to know more about the novella? Want a sneak peak at what it’s all about? Click HERE for more information and to hear the first six episodes from the free audio version, or download a free PDF excerpt of the first three chapters of Hull’s Landing right HERE. Oh, and feel free to pass those along to your friends, too. The more the merrier!

So what do you have to do to pre-order your limited edition copy of Hull’s Landing? Pfft, that’s easy. Just click the “Buy Now” button below and you’re in. Everything is processed through PayPal, and if you want me to personalize your copy of the book, be sure to write that in the special instructions. Oh, and if you move before June 1, 2011 and need to change your mailing address that is on your PayPal account, drop me an email at jjmelzer@gmail.com. Cool?

So what are you waiting for? There’s only 100 copies available, and in the time it took you to read this they’re probably going like hotcakes.

99…98…97…96…95…

QUIT READING!

I am pleased to announce that in 2011 my supernatural thriller, Hull’s Landing, will be making its way to e-book readers everywhere through my own Double J Media imprint.

This decision was made after realizing that big publishing (hell, even small publishing) probably wouldn’t want to buy a 40,000 word novella. Sure it’s been done in the past, and I could have gone that route, but honestly, Hull’s Landing is near and dear to my heart, and I didn’t want to give it over to anyone for a small advance and low royalties.This is also a chance for me to test the waters of self-publishing a longer work of fiction as well (up until this point I’ve only put out a few short stories).

Therefore, Hull’s Landing will be released in e-book format everywhere on April 10, 2011 and will sell for $2.99.

Does this mean that you’ll never get to hold a copy of a printed version in your hands? Absolutely not!

For those fans out there that wish to purchase a printed version of Hull’s Landing, there will be a special edition of the book that will be limited to just 100 copies. These will be numbered and signed by me, and include a special introduction not found in the e-book version, as well as a brand new cover. These will sell for just $20 (includes shipping and handling to anywhere in the world), and pre-orders for the special edition of Hull’s Landing will begin this Friday on November 5, 2010 at 9 AM EST. By selling the 100 limited edition print copies in advance, we will be able to finance the entire print run. Not only that, but for those that pre-order the limited edition version of Hull’s Landing, you’ll be getting your copies a month before the release of the e-book version. Those will start shipping on March 1, 2011.

Not sure if you want to pre-order a special edition of the book? Want to learn more about it and hear some free audio excerpts? No problem! Click HERE to find out more about it and listen to the first six episodes of the free audio version, or download a free PDF excerpt of the first three chapters of the first draft below.

Get ready folks, in 2011 Hull’s Landing is coming. Let’s do all we can to make it a success! Pre-order the limited edition print version this Friday, and tell you’re friends to check out the free audio version to learn more about it, or email them the free PDF excerpt, and get them on board for when it’s released as an e-book on April 10, 2011.

Together, we can do this!

Today my friend S.G. Browne becomes a sophomore in the publishing world with the release of his second novel, FATED. I got a chance to read this about two months ago but was holding off on posting anything about it until the book’s release. Yeah, I’m funny that way.

Here’s the back cover description:

Over the past few thousand years, Fabio has come to hate his job. As Fate, he’s in charge of assigning the fortunes and misfortunes that befall most of the human race-the eighty-three-percent who keep screwing things up. And with the steady rise in population since the first Neanderthal set himself on fire, he can’t exactly take a vacation.

Fabio is frustrated with his endless parade of drug addicts and career politicians, and is doesn’t help watching Destiny guide her people to winning Nobel Peace Prizes and Super Bowl MVPs. To make matters worse, he has a five-hundred-year-old feud with Death, and his best friends are Sloth and Gluttony. And worst of all? He’s just fallen in love with a human being.

Sara Griffen is on Destiny’s path, but Fabio keeps bumping into her-by accident at first, and then on purpose. Getting involved with her breaks Rule #1, and about ten others, setting off some cosmic-sized repercussions that could strip Fabio of his immortality-or lead to a fate worse than death.

The thing about FATED is that it’s not quite what you’d expect from S.G. Browne, but it is. After reading his first book, Breathers, you expect some kind of twisted love story woven through FATED, and while that is present, there’s so much more to the novel than a hapless loser falling in love with a girl he can never obtain. Full of rich and engaging characters, FATED is a delight from page one, and when the twists and turns start coming, you begin to realize what you are reading is destined to be one of the books you can’t help but recommend to your friends.

FATED is a must-read for anyone who likes dark comedy, satire, and questions their very existence on a day-to-day basis. After putting it down I found myself wanting to go back and read Breathers, and then read FATED once again. It’s a tremendous book that spurs the imagination, generates laughter, and makes you root for the underdog.

FATED by S.G. Browne is available today from retailers everywhere. Go on out and grab yourself a copy. Just tell ‘em James sent you. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.

Five days ago I blogged about how I was finally getting back to the manuscript for Hull’s Landing. Now, five days later, I am nearing the finish line for it. With more than 12,000 words written in the past week, this baby is almost ready to be put to bed for a while before some revisions take place.

How do I feel about this whole process of writing a novella? Well, it’s been different. Hull’s Landing has an interesting cast of characters, and while I would have liked to have gone deeper into some of their lives, I found myself strangely invigorated by just sticking to what is relevant to the story. With a novella you can’t mess around with exposition and the like, since it’s shorter than a novel. You have to get to the point quickly in a way that will move the story forward. I’ve managed to do that, and do it well, I think, based on all the comments I’ve received on it. I may change my tune when I go back to do the editing, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Regardless, though, writing this novella has been a learning experience. I’ve learned more about creating rich, realistic characters with Hull’s Landing than with anything I’ve ever dome before, as well as creating a setting that feels as real to me as it does the reader. Since it takes place in a fictional town in Pennsylvania, using actual places to surround the town with that I’ve been to and seen with my own eyes was a lot of fun.

So what will become of Hull’s Landing once it’s finished, you ask? Well, since it is a novella, there’s a good chance no publisher will want it, and I’ve made my peace with that. I didn’t write it for them anyway. I wrote it for me because I wanted to tell  a supernatural crime story. As far as I’m concerned, the publishing world can take a back seat to Hull’s Landing. Does that mean you’ll never get to hold a copy of it in your hand. Perish the thought!

All I’ll say right now is that once it’s finished, the free podcast audio version will be updated on my site, and on Podiobooks.com. In terms of a printed version of the novella, or even an e-book version…well, look for an announcement about all that coming very soon. Possibly even by the end of this week.

In the meantime, I’ll finish up the manuscript and get to work on something else while I continue to wait for things with ESCAPE to materialize. You’ll just have to sit tight for a little while longer. I promise though, it won’t be long until you find out what happens with Rita, Chief Walker, Zoe, Henry, and everyone else that has been populating my brain for the past few months.

Until then…

One of the benefits of working for yourself is that you can decide when to take a day off. Lately, I’ve been working 7-days a week trying to keep my head above water so I can pay bills with what little money I’ve been earning from freelance work. As a result, some of the things that matter have been suffering. You know, like my health, and writing.

Well today I’m taking a day off dammit.

I went over the 70-pages of my novella, Hull’s Landing, last night and decided that it’s time to revisit my old friend and finally finish it. Since everything is up in the air right now with ESCAPE, now is as good a time as any. I read those 70 completed pages and thought to myself, “You know, that’s not half bad.” Yeah it needs a bit of work, but that will come together in later drafts. For now, it’s time to sit down and find out what happens to Rita, Henry, Chief Walker, Zoe, and the man in the tennis shoes.

Based on the emails and comments I’ve been getting from my social media circle, I know you guys are chomping at the bit to find out what happens next as well. So while I finish it all off and resolve any unanswered questions, feel free to go back and re-listen to the first six episodes in the free podcast version. For those that are new to the story, I hope you enjoy it, and by the time you finish catching up, hopefully things will be back on track and updates will happen regularly from this point forward.

I’m not promising anything, mind you. For all I know I could finally hear from my editor at Simon & Schuster and things with ESCAPE could pick back up again, and I’ll have to drop everything to resolve that situation. In the meantime though, it’s time to get back to what, in my mind, is one of the best stories I have ever written.

Let’s dust this sucker off and finish it, shall we?

There’s nothing I love more than giving you guys free stuff, and when presented with the opportunity to give away an entire novel from my boy, Seth Harwood, I jumped at the chance. You guys remember Seth, right? He’s been on Unleashed before, and is a hell of a crime writer, and now he’s gearing up for YOUNG WEDNESDAY, which hits tomorrow. His new book, Young Junius, is available from Tyrus books, and he’s prepping to make a big splash in the big ocean of publishing.

Here’s the jacket description of Young Junius:

In 1987, fourteen-year-old Junius Posey sets out on the cold Cambridge (Mass.) streets to find his brother’s killer in a cluster of low-income housing towers—prime drug-dealing territory. After committing a murder to protect his friend, he finds himself without protection from retribution. His mother gives him fifty dollars and instructions to run, but Junius refuses to live a life in hiding. Instead, shocked by the violence he’s created and determined to see its consequences, he returns to the towers to complete his original mission.

I’ve read this book and it is truly amazing. Don’t take my word for it, though. In celebration of YOUNG WEDNESDAY, I got a free PDF copy of Young Junius to give away to all you fine folks. If you like what you read, please help support Seth Harwood and new media authors everywhere by purchasing a copy of your very own.

I’ve gotten quite a few comments and emails lately relating to what is going on with ESCAPE, which was supposed to be released on March 15, 2011 from Permuted Press and Simon & Schuster. Here’s the deal:

• The manuscript for ESCAPE was submitted to S&S either late in 2009, or early 2010. I’m not sure which, since I didn’t submit it. It was submitted to them by Permuted Press after the contract with S&S was signed, sealed and delivered, which was in December of 2009, if memory serves me correctly.
• In June of 2010 ESCAPE became available to pre-order through Amazon and other online retailers with a release date set for March 15, 2011. Many of you placed your pre-orders then, and I appreciate that.
• My editor at S&S went through the manuscript, and I finally got it back on August 31, 2010, with editorial notes. Let’s just say that he wasn’t too pleased with the manuscript, and said that a lot of changes were needed, up to and including a complete rewrite. It was mentioned that the publication date of March 15, 2011, may not be possible.
• I was asked what I would like to do with the manuscript in terms of rewrites, story changes, etc. While mulling this over I was checking the Amazon ranking for ESCAPE in mid-September and noticed the pre-order button was gone on the paperback version, but still there on the Kindle version. A few days later, the ability to pre-order ESCAPE at all in trade paperback was gone, and the release date had been changed to December 1, 2011. Many of you got emails from Amazon informing you of the changes, and asked what was up. Well, I found out the same way you did, so I wasn’t exactly sure. I guess they decided to go ahead and bump the date of publication back. I also noticed that my author “placeholder” on the Simon & Schuster website had disappeared as well, after just a few days of being up there.
• I devised a plan on how to fix the manuscript for ESCAPE, which included a different storyline, as well as some characters deleted and added to the manuscript, and sent it back to my editor at S&S at the beginning of October. October 8, to be exact. I have yet to hear anything on whether or not he wants be to proceed with this new plan, or if we have to come up with something different. What can I say? He’s a busy guy, and there’s more important manuscripts and authors to deal with I assume. That’s fine.

So that is where things stand right now. The release date has been changed to December 1, 2011 (which is odd to me since that’s a Thursday, and as far as I know, new releases come out on Tuesday). The manuscript is up in the air since I have been waiting to hear back from my editor on how to proceed. I’ve gone ahead and begun my plan anyway, in anticipation of a “yes” answer, but if not, well then it’s back to the drawing board I guess. I’ll have an entirely new novel half finished if not, so I guess that’s a good thing.

It’s been a very long, frustrating process for me, and for you, I’m sure. While I want the manuscript for ESCAPE to be the best it can possibly be, it’s frustrating to think that it’s going to be yet another year before it makes it to print, and it’s also frustrating when the lines of communication get clogged, and you have to play email tag.

Regardless, we’re still pressing on, you and I, and ESCAPE will make it to print. We’ve come this far, and we’re not giving up now. This whole thing began September 1, 2008, and we’re going to see it through to the end, and when we do, we’re going to have one hell of a fine book to hold in our hands. Whether or not it sells well, that’s another question altogether. We’ll have to work on that, together.

You guys still with me?

I haven’t been around much because I’ve been too busy being angry at New York City, but whatever. We’re still doing Podcaturday, and we’re still bitching about everything under the sun, because you people are too afraid to. Just kidding, I’m sure you all do a lot of bitching…but YOUR MOTHER DOESN’T COUNT. So get over it.

This week The Beans, Acadia and I bitch about there being no Hell’s Kitchen, the Friday the 13th movies, and even some good ol’ WWF wrestling. Or is it WWE? NAACP? PETA? CNN? NASDAQ? Wait, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, NASCAR. That’s it.

Aside from that, we also have Dr. Nob’s dirty word of the week, and it’s a humdinger. Heh, I said humdinger. That’s pretty dirty, right? Remember, that number to call so you can answer our questions is 206-888-1710.

OHHHHHH YEAAAAHHHHHHH!

Welcome back to another episode of Podcaturday. This week Acadia, Jenny, and I, are talking horror movies, and what makes them work. There’s also some stuff about Hell’s Kitchen, the Gallery’s 5th anniversary, and of course, voicemails from Dr. Nob and Coffin Nail Neil.

Don’t forget, if you’ve got something to say, call the Litterbox at 206-888-1710.

BOSS!

On this week’s episode of Podcaturday Acadia, Jenny and I talk about Star Wars 3D, Top Chef Just Desserts, horror movies, and lots and lots of illicit drugs.

If you enjoy the episode and want to drop us a line, call the Litter Box at 206-888-1710.

Peace!

Here’s the video of me at Horror Realm 2010 doing a reading from Hull’s Landing. I think I did a pretty good job, despite how friggin’ sick I was. What do you think?

Enjoy!

Well it’s been a week to the day since I returned from Horror Realm in Pittsburgh, PA, and since I’m almost over the post-con crud, I believe an update on how the weekend went is in order.

Unlike last year, I had pretty much no responsibilities this year around. I didn’t have to sit behind a table and shuck some goods, didn’t have to sign anything for anybody, and didn’t have to put on a smiley face even though I was feeling like shit. The only thing I had to do this year was participate in an author’s panel on Sunday. You know, do a short reading and answer some questions.

Jenny and I arrived to the con on Saturday around 11:30 AM, after driving four hours with our trusty GPS. Navigating the streets of Pittsburgh is like driving through the Labarynth, so having a GPS was helpful. Or room wasn’t ready at that time, so we just left all our crap in the car, met up with Jacob from Permuted Press, got our badges, and said some hellos. From there it was off to go see Jonathan Maberry do his reading/talk.

Jake Bible and I

Maberry is by far the best part of Horror Realm for me. A friend and great speaker, he never ceases to amaze me with the wealth of information he can share in an hour, and the way he keeps you interested in every single thing he says. The audience wasn’t too big for this one, so it gave it a more personal touch. He read from his current work in progress, spoke about his work on The Wolfman, Marvel Comics, and the young adult fiction market, and took questions. Just an all around great guy, and if you ever get the chance to hear him speak, take it like your dear life depended on it. It may just, you never know.

Afterward we got a copy of his latest novel, ROT & RUIN, signed and talked some more with him about ebooks, independent bookstores, and ereaders. Again, a wonderful conversation.

From there we checked into our room, went and heard Ken Foree talk for an hour and a half or so about sex, and browsed through the dealer room, meeting up with old friends from last year like Joel Robinson and Primo Cardinalli, two fantastic artists and great guys. We also got the chance to hang with our good friend Corey Graham for a bit, say hi to our fellow writers from Permuted Press (shout out to Jason Hornsby!) and Library of the Living Dead (what up Rob, Laura, Jake, Zak, Benjamin and Kody!), and grab a bite to eat before collapsing in the hotel room for a bit.

As Saturday night wore on we watched the Library of the Living Dead folk shoot a commercial in full-on zombie make-up, and watch as the Funky Werepig did a live show (I won a t-shirt). Then we went outside, hung with Ken Foree for a bit, drank from Joel Robinson’s mason jar (excellent homemade cider, by the way), and yakked it up with our new friend, Danny Evarts, from Shroud Magazine. There was some partying with Magic Hat beer, but honestly, we were just too damn tired, and I was too damn sick, to really enjoy it all that much. I’m more of a conversationalist than a partier anyway, so that was fine by me.

Sunday I woke up feeling like I had been touched by Grim Death, but pressed on to do my authors panel with Mike Watts and Tony Mochinski. I read a part from Hull’s Landing off my ereader (which Jonathan Maberry seemed to enjoy), and answered a few questions from people in the audience. It was fun. Not my best performance considering my sickly circumstances (the reading last year was much better), but it still went over well.

Then we said some goodbyes, shook some hands, and made some promises to keep in touch, and were on our way back home by 1:30 PM. I would have loved to have stayed longer, but seeing as how I could barely stand, a nap on the way home was just too inviting.

Final thoughts: Horror Realm was not as busy as it was last year. For example, I think last year I read to a crowd of about 30-40 people, this year it was, like, 10. Hell, even Jonathan Maberry only managed to pull in a handful of folks for his talk, which floored me. I don’t know what the final numbers were, but if it keeps up like that, there’s no way Horror Realm can survive another two years. It’s sad but true. I like the con, like the smallness of it, and I didn’t mind reading to just a few folks. From a business stand point though, I think the organizers were expecting a bigger haul.

Still, a good time was had by all, and it gave me a chance to hook up with some old friends, and meet new ones. There’s talk of next year doing the whole Permuted Press/Library of the Living Dead meet-up at zomBcon in San Francisco, but that’s all it is right now – talk. We’ll see what happens. Personally, I like Horror Realm and would love to see it continue. Although I have always wanted to go to San Francisco…

Much like your mother, this episode of Podcaturday is quick and dirty. Jenny and I are on the road to Horror Realm in Pittsburgh as we speak, so this was recorded on Friday night.

Acadia and I gush over The Dark Tower, while Beans goes on and on and on about True Blood – and for good reason. The season finale sucked worse than a $2 whore. There’s also some talk about…wait, is there any other talk? I’m sure there is, but as it’s been over an hour since we recorded it, my mind has moved on to other things.

Enjoy the episode folks, and I’ll see you back here next week for a Horror Realm recap, which may or may not include pics of me with my pants off.

Cheers!

Welcome back to another episode of Podcaturday. It’s been two weeks since our last episode. Or has it been three? This is the third week so it’s been two. I think. Whatever…

This week we’re back talking about 9/11, True Blood, and Acadia’s jet pack. I’m sure some of you will disagree with pretty much everything I say and that’s fine. Feel free to call the hotline to bitch at me, or for anything else you have to say. That number again is 206-888-1710.

I’d put in links for you to visit but you probably won’t anyway and I’m too lazy to do that tonight anyway.

As some of you who follow me on Twitter and Facebook know, Jenny and I have started a new website, Pop Army. This is in addition to our own websites, as well as Jenny’s awesome kid website, Kid Wonderful. Why so many websites, you ask?

Simple. We’re building a network.

All of these websites will soon fall under the Double J Media label, with more to be added later. The point of all this? To write content we enjoy, while monetizing our efforts. You’ll see that all of our websites (except Jenny’s for the moment) have ads on them. Ads are how we make money, bottom line. No one is paying us, so we have to make cash somehow, right?

Our latest effort, Pop Army, is an entertainment website complete with movie, television, Hollywood and celebrity news, photo galleries and videos. The whole works. We’ve both written for these types of websites before, enjoy making the content, and are having a hell of a lot of fun doing Pop Army. Together with our Managing Editor, Nicole Ireland, and contributing writers, we hope to build a website that will be fun for people to visit and interact with, while providing our own spin on things.

So check out Pop Army, stay awhile and be sure to leave some comments to let us know what you think. You can follow Pop Army on Twitter, Facebook and Digg to stay up to date, as well as subscribe to the RSS feed.

It’s just another step forward in putting the power back in our own hands, while building a brand we love.

~James Melzer

As many of you have noticed, I haven’t been around much these days. I mean, I’ve been here, just not around in those social media circles we get so attached to. Not that there’s anything wrong with that (okay, for some people it is, but I won’t go there).

So I guess the question isn’t, “Where have I been?” so much as it is, “What have I been up to?”

I’m not going to lie, becoming unemployed was a big kick in the teeth. It brought my moral down to negative 32, and for a while I wasn’t doing much of anything except laying around with Jenny (who also became unemployed) and complaining. I wasn’t writing, podcasting, or reading. I did eat lots of chocolate and ice cream though, I remember that much.

Then a spark came. A glimmer of hope to make some sort of income. You see, Jenny and I had been freelancing for a company that built websites geared toward specific niches. We wrote content for these sites, saw how they made their money, and thought, “Hey, that’s pretty easy.” With new found determination we picked ourselves up and started building a couple of websites. The result is Jenny’s amazing website, KidWonderful.com. I went in another direction, and created something that is completely separate from the James Melzer you know and love. Therefore, I cannot tell you what or where it is, since it’s something that is for me, and me alone. How am I going to make money off of it? Trust me, I am. We have another one in the works, but mum’s the word on that for now.

So once we got those off the ground and running, I turned my attention back to freelancing. I am still unemployed, but have been doing some side work for the same company I got laid off from (with the hopes to return someday), and I have a consultation tomorrow morning with another company that will hopefully reap some sort of benefit.

Through it all, we have been supported by amazing friends like you, who have graciously donated your time and money to help us continue on with our journey to get married. You have done stuff that has amazed us, made us cry, and made us stay up until the early hours of the morning eating English muffins and talking about what amazing people you are. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Now, on the writing front. Many of you are wondering where Hull’s Landing is. It’s coming back very soon. I started writing it and releasing podcast episodes on my website. Then it appeared on Podiobooks.com. From there I got to thinking about how I could get it to as many ears as possible. Most people podcast their novels on their website and Podiobooks, but I wanted to do something different. I enlisted the help of Paul E. Cooley who agreed to put it in his feed on Shadowpublications.com. What’s that you say? Two podcasters working together to spread content that appeals to both parties listeners? Yeah, go figure. Anyway, he started releasing episodes on a weekly basis and was a bit behind everyone else. Now that he’s all caught up, I can begin releasing new episodes again so that everyone will be in sync with one another. Got it? Good.

I have also begun receiving edits on Escape: A Zombie Chronicles Novel from Simon & Schuster. These are BIG edits. There’s a lot of work that needs to be done on the manuscript which is going to make it better. In fact, it will be so different from the podcasted version of the novel that I may just have to podcast it again when it’s finished.

So that’s where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing. I’m not gone. Not dead. Not buried. On the contrary. I’m ready to refocus my efforts on doing the things that are most profitable for me. If that means I’m not around Twitter or Facebook as much, so be it. There will still be stories, podcasts, and content for you to read here, but to be honest with you – I’ve kind of enjoyed the break from social media, so I don’t know if I’ll ever come back and use it the way I did in the past.

As always, you’re all amazing, and thanks for your continued support!

Welcome back to another episode of Podcaturday. I don’t have much to say, except we may have found a EVP on the file, then Jenny erased it, so technically you won’t get to hear it yet. We may post it next week, or whenever we get around to it. Lord knows we have so much time on our hands now. NOT!

Regardless, you should still go and visit Jenny this week, along with these fine folks:

Acadia

KidWonderful

HOPPS

Welcome back to another episode of Podcaturday. This week the hilarity ensues as we talk about time traveling cameras, Adolf Hitler, and dinosaurs. Sound good? You’re right. It is.

In case you’d like to answer the question we posed to all of you, call 206-888-1710, or not. I don’t care. Just as long as you listen. That’s the main thing.

Visit Jenny and Acadia this week, as I’m sure they had lots more to say than I did.

Welcome back to another edition of Podcaturday bitches! I’ve been absent as of late from most social media, but have no fear – Melzer is here. For about an hour, anyway.

We welcome a special guest this week in the way of JW. He and Acadia are best buds, or something like that. Anyway, he went and canceled all his cable with the reasoning that he doesn’t need it. He can just watch shit on the Internet. Good idea, JW. Good. I. Dea.

If you have any suggestions for stuff that JW should be watching, call the hotline at 206-888-1710.

Here’s your link of the week. See you all on the flip side!

Jenny Beans

Acadia Einstein

Special Guest JW

If your name’s not listed it’s because I’m too damn tired and I’m trying to find a job. PEACE!

Ok so here’s another episode of Podcaturday. It’s been a really shitty week, so I don’t have to much to say except thanks to the friends that I have that have been supporting Jenny and I through it all. You guys ROCK!

This week’s episode features Cheerleaders, True Blood, Reincarnation, and Haven. It’s good stuff and you should listen to it. I will do links tomorrow. I’m tired and I wanna go to bed. I had a little drink about an hour ago and it went right to my head…

I can’t preface this blog post any other way than by saying what happened last night sucked. This blog post is not a happy one. It’s depressing as hell, really. Okay, maybe not hell, since I imagine that’s much more depressing than this. I digress…

As some of you reading this may know, Jenny and I have been working for the same company for the last 10 months as writers of various blog content. Heck, she’s gotten some of you jobs, so what happened last night affects a multitude of people. Not just us. Anyway, we were told that there’s cutbacks, so our services are no longer needed. Jenny’s still are to a certain degree, but mine have gone the way of the dodo bird. This is only the second time I have been out of a job since I started busting my ass at 15 years of age. It wouldn’t be so bad except…

Jenny and I are in the process of trying to get married. We’ve been going through all the proper channels, filling out immigration forms, paying the various fees. I think we’ve spent about $700 or so dollars so far. Now that we’re out of work though, it looks like the worst has happened and things might be put on hold for a while. This coming just a week or so after I got my package from immigration informing me of all the necessary steps I have to take to move on to the final process.

The only problem is, the final process costs around $5,000.

Shit. We’re just two people that want to get married for crying out loud.

Now I don’t know what we’re going to do. I have a soon-to-be-stepdaughter. My roommate in Toronto is moving out and since I can’t relocate to the United States until I get the Visa crap sorted out, I have to keep my apartment at $1000/month somehow. It’s just one thing on top of another, you know?

This is not a blog post looking for sympathy. I’m just telling you how it is. People lose their jobs everyday, and I’m just another victim of the system, I guess. Somehow we’ll get through it. We’ve each been through worse in our lives separately, and now we’re going through something shitty together. We stayed up until 3 am last night trying to figure it all out. It’s scary – terrifying even – but we have each other. What did the Beatles say about needing love?

Anyway, that’s where we’re at right now. In love and limbo all at once. It sucks, it’s depressing, it’s frightening, and I’m scared shitless.

I’m setting up a Chip In widget below should any of you want to help us continue on in our journey to get married and start our lives together. We’ll still do it even if no one contributes a dime, but it’s going to take a hell of a lot longer now. Maybe a year or more, instead of the few months we were hoping for.

I can’t offer anything tangible in return, unfortunately. All I can do is keep writing words, podcasting them for your enjoyment, and hope like hell things work out in the interim while I look for work.

It’s been a hell of a week. How are you?

~JM

Well, well, well. Here we are again for another episode of Hull’s Landing. You guys and gals enjoying it so far? Good. You want to know something you can do for me? Head on over to Podiobooks.com, register for FREE if you don’t already have an account, and then visit the Hull’s Landing page over there to comment and rate it. It’s that easy. It debuted on Friday the 16th of July over there, and it’s been #1 on the daily charts ever since Friday afternoon. Good stuff.

Quick tidbit – ESCAPE: A ZOMBIE CHRONICLES NOVEL (which is now available to preorder, by the way), also debut on Podiobooks on the 16th, only it was in October. I thought it was neat, anyway.

On with this weeks episode!

Tired from the days events, Rita ends up falling asleep and having a dream that may be more telling than she realizes. Chief Bobby Walker decides that it’s time to assert himself once again, while the man in the tennis shoes is paid a visit by the woman in white, and Henry foils his plans by doing the unthinkable.

Remember folks, this podcast novella is Rated R for strong language, adult themes, and situations.

You may remember back in the day I interviewed the talented filmmaker, Emily Hagins, on an episode of Unleashed. We talked about what it was like making her film Pathogen, and I came to realize that she’s a hell of a young lady. Well, Emily is back making another film, and she needs your help.

She’s raising funds for ‘My Sucky Teen Romance’ on Indiegogo.com. The goal is $8,000, and at the time of writing this, she has collected $5,040 with 19 days left to go.

I want to encourage all of you to give what you can. Not only does Emily deserve to get this film made, but she’s about to graduate high school, so this would be one for the memory books.

Hear her pitch below (which sounds awesome if I do say so myself), visit Indiegogo.com, and donate what you can.

~JM

My Sucky Video Pitch from Emily Hagins on Vimeo.

Folks, the long awaited sequel to J.L Bourne’s Day By Day Armageddon is now available, and it is lighting up the charts! When I woke up this morning, DBDA 2: Beyond Exile was #56 in books on Amazon.com, and #5 in horror. Sandwiched right between Charlaine Harris and Stephen King. Not a bad place to be.

If you’re unfamiliar of Bourne’s work, all you have to know that it is some of the best zombie fiction I’ve ever read. Seriously. It’s got action, plot, gore, engaging characters, and of course lots of zombie goodness. He began giving the first book away for free on his website years ago, got picked up by Permuted Press, where it has been their #1 seller forever, and became part of the co-publishing venture between Permuted and Simon & Schuster (which I am also a part of). Armageddon is now in it’s 3rd printing I believe, and there’s already talks about sending DBDA 2 into an early second printing as well, since it’s so damn hot.

I highly recommend both books, and I hope you’ll check them out. Oh, and while you’re there, why not preorder ESCAPE and enter the ‘ESCAPE from your LIFE‘ contest.

It’s Sunday, and that means it’s time for your weekly dose of podcast fiction with another episode of Hull’s Landing. In case you missed it, HL has made its was into the feed over at Shadowpublications.com thanks to my buddy Paul E. Cooley, who is a hell of a writer, and a great guy. Things are really starting to get interesting for this little novella of ours. It will be making its debut over on Podiobooks.com soon, too. We’ll have to see where this goes. Without further babbling though, here’s this week’s episode:

The man in the tennis shoes brings Henry to the basement, which is quite the surprise for Wayne Leiland. Rita confronts Chief Walker, but doesn’t get a whole lot out of him. He suspects she knows something, though, and that doesn’t bode well for her. Henry’s purpose is revealed in the plot, as he is faced with a horrible task.

Remember folks, this this podcast novella is Rated R for strong language, adult themes, and situations.

Welcome back to another edition of Podcaturday. My brain is still not functioning since I just woke up from a nap. I dreamed about a genetically engineered wild boar made with synthetic blood. I shot its head off but the damn thing grew back and started chasing me again. What the fuck, pig? Anyway, congrats to the winner of the Braveheart DVD from last week. This week we’re giving away Zombie Strippers. Call the hotline (206-888-1710), or leave a comment to be entered to win. You guys are awesome.

Here’s the links for this week, and their genetically engineered counterparts:

The Beans – Faerie/Minx

Acadia – Eeor/Oscar the Grouch

Dr. Nob – Love bird/Turtle

Nikki – Ferret/Kitten

Patrick – Bulldog/Hamster

Podcaturday after the trailer and the shameless self-promotion of my book.

P.S. – Bionic Garlic Bread sucks this week because she didn’t call in.

Greetings! Welcome back to another episode of the podcast novella, Hull’s Landing. A short episode today since it’s the fourth of July and I know there’s lots going on. Hell, I have two parties to go to later today. I hope you’ve all been enjoying the novella up to this point. Now, without further blabbing on my part, let’s get to this week’s episode.

Henry’s connection to the man in tennis shoes is revealed, and Chief Bobby Walker gets an unwanted message. Rita is stunned when she discovers what happened to Melinda Wilmott.

Remember, folks – this podcast novella is Rated R for strong language, adult themes, and situations.

Welcome back to yes another edition of Podcaturday, you’re weekly dose of insanity.

Thank you to those who called the Litterbox last week. All 5 of you. This week there’s an extra incentive to call and comment on all the Podcaturday posts, since we’re giving away stuff now. The first prize? A copy of Braveheart. You know, the movie Mel “I’m a fucking loony toon” Gibson won an academy award for? Yeah. That one. So listen to find out what you have to do to win.

Podcaturday has been a roaring (or as Acadia would say, “Raaring”) success, so again, thank you to all of you who listen each and every week. You ROCK!

Now here’s this week’s links. Podcaturday after the trailer.

Jenny “We’re done professionally” Beans

Acadia “Get your stinkin paws off me you damn dirty ape” Einstein

Nicole “Suck my dick” Ireland

Nobilis “Tell me about it stud” Reed

David “Your mother had it comin” Sobkowiak

Laura “That’s not a knife this is a knife” Frechette

Welcome back to another episode of UNLEASHED. We’re sponsored by the fine folks at Permuted Press…and when I say “we’re” I mean me.

Lots of cool stuff on this episode, not the least of which is an interview with Robert R. Best, who is the author of the zombie novel, Lakewood Memorial, as well as its upcoming sequels. A really great guy, and I think you guys are going to enjoy this one.

Without further hesitation then, here’s the rundown for the show:

• 00:00:01 – Introduction
• 00:00:50 – Don’t forget to preorder your copy of Beyond Exile: Day By Day Armageddon by J.L. Bourne. Available everywhere July 13!
• 00:02:25 – UNLEASHED has been nominated for a Parsec Award in the category of Best Podcast About Speculative Fiction Content Creation. Thanks to everyone who has ever been involved with the show for making it happen!
• 00:03:47 – My new novella, Hull’s Landing, is being released right now!
• 00:05:42 – Corey Graham returns with Twisting the Blade. This month Corey reviews HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, not House of the Dead, as I called it. Oops. My bad. Watch the trailer HERE.
• 00:12:17 – Promo: The Ballad of Iron Percy by Edward Clark and read by Veronica Giguere
• 00:13:17 – Interview with Robert R. Best
• 00:33:24 – Info about Horror Realm 2010 at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Pittsburgh
• 00:34:15 – Jennifer Hudock is absent with her From the Shelf Book Report this month. She’s hard at work finishing edits on FROM THE DARK SIDE, a charity anthology, where all the proceeds are going to The Office of Letters and Light.
• 00:36:17 – Adios muchachos!

Hope you guys enjoy the episode. Drop me a line at jjmelzer@gmail.com if you want to provide written feedback, or you can call the voicemail line at 206-888-1710. Till next month!

Welcome back to another episode of my new podcast novella, Hull’s Landing. I’ve been really enjoying bringing this to you guys, and hope you’re digging it as well. Should you feel the need to leave me some feedback, email me at jjmelzer@gmail.com, or call the voicemail line at 206-888-1710. On with the show…

The encounter with Sam is still fresh in Rita’s mind, and as she sits down to have a talk with her neighbor, more about the town is revealed until a scream penetrates the conversation. Chief Walker and the man in the tennis shoes have a nice sit down, and we learn what happened to Danny Wilmott.

Remember, folks – this podcast novella is Rated R for strong language, adult themes, and situations.

We’re back for another episode of Podcaturday. I have to say that I think this is the best one yet, as we talk about everything from time travel to alien conspiracies to *SPOILER ALERT* Shutter Island. Suck that, James Cameron!

There may or may not be the drone of a fan in the background. Why? Because it’s really freakin’ hot out and I didn’t feel like turning it off just to appease you people. Deal with it. Either the fan goes, or I go! Wait, maybe I shouldn’t put that to a vote.

Here’s the links to this week’s crew, with their new nicknames as chosen by me.

The “Jelly” Beans

Acadia “Bionic Frankenstein” Einstein

Martin “I Like the Mob” Scorsese

Laura “Garlic Bread” Frechette

Nobilis “Stop Telling Me How to Pronounce My Name” Reed

Corey “Don’t You Dare Call Me Cracker” Graham

Oh, and here’s the trailer for Uwe Boll’s RAMPAGE, which I talked about in the episode. Doesn’t it look great?

Last year I attended my first ever convention. Horror Realm, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I sold some wears, participated in an author reading where I read from my forthcoming debut novel, Escape, and signed some autographs. Well, I am pleased to say that this year I’ll be doing almost all of it again.

Horror Realm is taking place from September 17 to 19, 2010, at the Crowne Plaza Hotel, Pittsburgh South. Guests include Ken Foree, Tiffany Shepis, Robyn Griggs, and Scarlet Salem, and many great authors and artists will also be in attendance as well. Folks like Joel Robinson, Kim Paffenroth, and of course, me. You never know who you might run into, too. Last year I got to hook up with Tom Savini for a bit, and Tony Todd banged on our door at midnight looking for Ken Foree. There was also a great room party I attended with the likes of S.G. Browne, Doctor Pus, and the dude who got his head chopped off by a helicopter in Dawn of the Dead (he brought us ice). So all-in-all, Horror Realm is a hell of a fun weekend with lots of great people, in a great hotel.

This year I’ll be there celebrating not only the soon-to-be-released novel, but also my marriage. Jenny and I are getting hitched the weekend before, so we’ll be in good spirits for sure. Yes, Jenny will be there too with me. You know her, right? I’ll be giving a reading late Saturday afternoon, and partying it up all through the night with you fine folks. I might even have a few surprises for you as well.

So join me, September 17 to the 19 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for Horror Realm 2010!

**The following footage was shot at Horror Realm 2009 by author Z.A. Recht (Feb 4, 1983 – Dec. 10, 2009). You are greatly missed, Z.**

Let’s say you’re in the woods camping with some friends. You’re having a good time, drinking and laughing it up. Maybe even smoking a bit of weed. Ah to be young again. Everything’s going great, then you and your girl decide to have some sex. Damn, you’re dead.

That simple premise launched one of the biggest horror franchises of all time in the way of Friday the 13th, and one of the most iconic horror monsters ever. Jason Voorhees.

ki-ki-ki-ma-ma-ma…yes, that Jason Voorhees.

Sporting a hockey mask and wielding a knife Paul Hogan would be jealous of, Jason Voorhees slashed his way into our hearts beginning in 1981 with Part 2 of the series (Pamela Voorhees was the killer in the first one, remember?). There have been a total of 12 films in the franchise so far, and Big J has racked up a body count of more than 150 people. Using not only his knife, but spears, sleeping bags, wire, an axe, and I could go on and on but I won’t.

The only thing you need to know is that Jason Voorhees is one bad mofo. Like Michael Myers, Voorhees stalks his victims slowly, but unlike Myers, Voorhees isn’t out to mess with your head, or play with you. He’s out to slaughter your ass, spilling as much of your blood as possible. You can run, but he will find you, and no matter what you do to him, he will not die. You can blow him to Kingdom Come, and some how, some way, he’ll find a way to come back. Even if nanobots have to put him back together like Humpty Dumpty.

One of the things that makes Jason unique though, is that most people actually find themselves cheering for him. They can’t wait to see how he is going to kill his next victim. Of course, that’s probably because the kids are so dumb and stupid that you can’t wait for them to bite it, but that’s besides the point. He has gone beyond being a mere monster, to almost being the hero. Something that is rare in the horror genre. Make no mistake though, Voorhees is a monster, and he will stop at nothing to kill you. He’s the Terminator of horror movies.

We salute you, Jason Voorhees, for all that you have contributed to our nightmares, to our midnight walks, and to the game of hockey. You may be a monster, but you’re our monster.

You’ve been listening to the free, serialized podcast of my new novella, Hull’s Landing, and now you can bring the experience of serialized fiction to your e-reader for just $0.99 cents.

Starting with ‘White Robes and Tennis Shoes,’ Hull’s Landing is going to be offered in serialized form on Smashwords and in the Amazon Kindle Store for $0.99 cents a pop. The novella will be broken down into chunks, each running around 5,000 words or so, and released once a month, over a period of about six months. You can best be sure that each serialized e-part of Hull’s Landing will end on a cliffhanger as well. Hey, I gotta keep you guys coming back somehow, right?

Unfamiliar with Hull’s Landing? Here’s the lowdown…

Nestled deep in the heart of Pennsylvania is the small town of Hull’s Landing. While it may seem like just an ordinary place, The Landing holds a secret so dark, that there are those who will do anything to protect it.

For decades, young girls have been disappearing like clockwork. While some have their suspicions, the entire town lives in fear; and for good reason. When Rita Clemens, a former member of the Pittsburgh Bureau of Police, decides to make her new home in Hull’s Landing, she begins to uncover what the locals have tried to keep hidden for so long.

As the race against time begins, Rita will have to do everything she can to protect herself, and to save a child’s life, before one of the world’s oldest evils can be unleashed.

Hull’s Landing is an original novella from the author of ESCAPE, and is Rated R for violence, adult situations, and language.

Sound good? It is. So for those of you that don’t like podcasts, or want to experience the novella in a whole new way, grab your copy of the first segment of Hull’s Landing, titled ‘White Robes and Tennis Shoes.’

Available now on Smashwords, and in the Amazon Kindle Store for just $0.99 cents!

BOOM! Another edition of Podcaturday is upon you, featuring talk about Acadia’s broken back, Jenny’s disdain of Charlaine Harris, and my love of Ouija boards. I think there’s some World Cup talk in the somewhere, too. It might have been cut out. My Ouija talk may have been cut out as well. I don’t know. I should really start doing these posts after the episode is edited instead of trying to get everything ready ahead of time. My bad.

Don’t forget, you can leave a message in The Litterbox for us to play on the show. Feel free to bitch about what ever you’d like. Bitching at us increases your chances of getting played on Podcaturday. That number to call again is 206-888-1710.

Here’s who you should go and visit this week and what their last name isn’t.

Jennifer whose last name is not Lopez

Acadia whose last name is not Einstein

Corey whose last name is not Haim

Permuted Press who doesn’t have a last name for obvious reasons

Veronica whose last name is not Mars

Nicole whose last name is not Scherzinger

Here is Acadia’s very beautiful Power Point presentation about the Picture Perfect contest that he worked so hard on with Vange, who rocks and rolls all day long, sweet Suzie!

Ah 1986. Hands Across America, the Challenger disaster, the Iran Contra Affair, Madonna singing “Papa Don’t Preach,” and of course, Tawny Kitaen. Mmm…Tawny Kitaen. Who could ever forget her in movies like Bachelor Party and Instant Justice? Perhaps one of her best known roles though, was as Linda Brewster in the film Witchboard. You all remember that movie, right?

Last night as I was thinking of a film to focus on today, we broke out the Ouija board for some fun and it hit me, “Witchboard. Of course!” This is perhaps one of my most loved 80s horror films, as it had all the right elements for a good scary flick. Possession, things moving all on their own, cheesy music, and yes, Tawny Kitaen. Oh, and it also had Stephen Nichols in it. You may remember him as Steve ‘Patch’ Johnson from the daytime soap, Days of Our Lives. What? Am I the only horror author that ever watched that stuff? I doubt it.

Witchboard, as I recall, was my first encounter with a film about Ouija boards. Up until that point, I had only heard about them briefly, not really quite sure what they were. I knew it had something to do with ghosts and whatnot, but man, after seeing that film, I was intrigued. The bad mojo of the movie didn’t scare me away, quite the contrary. I was more determined than ever to get my hands on one to see what evil I could conjure up. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on which side you’re on), I never did get to play with one until a few years later, when my brother and his girlfriend scared the crap out of me during a session with ol’ Ouija. Regardless, it didn’t deter me from trying it again later on in life, hence the fun last night.

While Witchboard may have been trying to send the message of, “Don’t fuck with the dead,” I think it had the opposite affect on most people, causing them to be more and more curious about things they don’t truly understand. At least, that’s the affect it had on me.

If you’ve never seen it, or if it’s been a while since you had a viewing of this film, I suggest you go out and grab yourself a copy. It’s dated in many ways, but is still good for a few jump scares. And yes, Tawny Kitaen is just as hot as you remembered her to be in it.

I have a confession to make. Are you ready? Here it goes…I am not a huge Neil Gaiman fan.

There. I said it.

As a teen, while all my friends were drooling over The Sandman, I had no interest. I tried reading a few issues but never got into it. As an adult, I read American Gods, Anansi Boys, and Smoke and Mirrors, all in that order. I was not too impressed. I mean, they were good, don’t get me wrong. I just never saw the appeal of Neil Gaiman’s style.

Then I read Neverwhere.

WOW!

Something about that book just blew me away, and all of a sudden I found myself telling everyone to read it. Most of the responses I got were, “I already have.” Seems I missed the boat on that one, but I didn’t care. I still shouted it from the rooftops that everyone should read Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman.

The story is simple enough: man meets mysterious girl, man’s life falls apart, and then man goes on an adventure with said girl in London’s underground. There is so much more to it than that, though. Oh so much more. The characters Gaiman created in Neverwhere were rich, with quirks, traits, and backstory’s all their own that propelled you into their world. You found yourself laughing at the follies of Richard Mayhew, cheering for Door, and wondering about Hunter. Croup and Vandemar are delightful villains, and in a world where it seems anything can happen, and does, the story captivates you until the very end. Which, by the way, concludes spectacularly.

I’ve read Neverwhere twice, and on the second go around I found myself discovering little nuggets that I missed the first time, which made it a pleasure to read again. It only reaffirmed by belief that everyone should read Neverwhere. Again and again and again.

So here I am, feeling like a broken record, telling you to read Neverwhere. I’m sure I’ll get a lot of the same responses I did before, and that’s okay. If just one of you looking at this has not yet read it, and are convinced to do so now, then I have done my job.

Now that my secret is out there that I’m not a huge Neil Gaiman fan, I’m sure I’ll take a lot of ribbing, and I’m okay with that. Rib away. It’s all in good fun. Just remember that there’s authors I like that I’m sure you have no interest in…but if you were as passionate about their work as I am about Neverwhere, I’d listen.

Okay, so things didn’t exactly work out as I planned this week. Last night on Twitter I mentioned that today’s post would feature an old family photo of a ghost hand. It does, but the quality isn’t as great as I was hoping. See, I had the pic all ready to go, pulled out of the family album, and went to scan it. Low and behold, some rabbits chewed through my scanner cord, rendering it inoperable. Seriously, my roommate has two rabbits. A white one and a black one. You can’t make this shit up, folks.

Anyway, I grabbed Jenny’s BlackBerry and took a picture of the picture, because I’m a man of my word and wanted to show you all this. As you may know, though, BB cameras aren’t exactly the greatest. Still…it worked.

You can see in the picture my mother and aunt. Beside my aunt is what looks to be a hand getting ready to tap her on the shoulder. See it? Click on the picture to enlarge it. Now, this pic has been in my family for over 40 years, and I’ve had it taken to folks to see if it was altered in any way. It wasn’t.

So there you have it, the mysterious ghost hand in the picture. What do you guys think? You can’t see it very well in this reprint, but you can actually make out bones in the hand. The index finger is pointing up, ready to tap my aunt on the shoulder. I’ll repost it once I get a new cord for my scanner of course, so you can see it better.

That’s it. That’s all I got. A fuzzy ghost hand in a fuzzy picture that wouldn’t scan because some rabbits chewed my cord. Man, you’d think I was snapping a pic of Bigfoot or something…

You have to give major props to a myth that can penetrate the culture so much so that it has its own NHL team. What? You thought the New Jersey Devils were named after Satan? He should be so lucky.

First showing up on the 1800′s, the Jersey Devil has been credited with killing livestock, leaving tracks, and even making strange noises in the night. In the middle of the 20th century, merchants around Camden, New Jersey, offered $10,000 to anyone who could capture the creature, and even offered to build a private zoo for J.D.

Alas, the reward went uncollected.

While you may have your doubts, I can’t help but think that there has to be some amount of truth to the existence of the Jersey Devil. I mean, it’s been talked about for so long, reportedly been sighted, and with some degree of evidence being left behind, it’s hard not to imagine the possibility that a strange creature could be inhabiting the Pine Barrens. No?

As far as pop culture goes, I mentioned the NHL team, but the mysterious creature has also found its way into episodes of The X-Files, Animal Planet, Scariest Places on Earth, Paranormal State, and Destination Truth. Hell, Bruce Springsteen even wrote a song about it. A Night With the Jersey Devil, anyone? Its been featured in video games, in pro wrestling, and also has a motorcycle club named after it.

So, where do you stand on this one? Is there a Jersey Devil, and if so, have you ever heard stories about it?

Let me know what you think in the comments below. C’mon, I know I’m not the only one who believes.

If you’ve been following the daily content that has been popping up here for the past three weeks, you’ll recognize a change to Monday’s. They were formally known as ‘Maniac Monday,’ wherein we would look at a different serial killer each week. That is no more. Realize that all this stuff is still in the initial phase, so I might be trying out different things to see what works. ‘Maniac Monday’ was not working.

Therefore, I present to you…MONSTER MONDAY! I’ll be sharing my thoughts on different monsters from either film or literature every week, until I see fit to change it. Something tells me, though, that you guys will dig it.

On with the show…

When I was a kid, one of the first horror films I ever remember watching was Halloween. To this day it remains my #1 favorite horror film of all time. When I got a VCR, Halloween was the first film I bought. Same with when I got a DVD player, and I’m sure it will be the same when I make the switch to BluRay (I know, I’m a bit behind the times).

Michael Myers is one of those monsters that leaves a lasting impression on a kid. He’s dressed in black, so it’s easy for him to hide in your closet. He’s silent, never making a sound as he stalks his victims, so you can never be sure if he might be following you to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Most frightening of all, though, is that he carries one hell of a kitchen knife, and he’s not using it to chop lettuce, either.

Myers gets inside your head, toying with you as he pursues you at a pace that would make a snail envious. He doesn’t run, he don’t jog. He walks. Slowly, with confidence. Knowing that no matter where you try and hide, he will find you. This separates him from all the other other slasher film killers, in my opinion. He’s not just out for blood and guts. He’s out to play, and he knows full well what he is doing. Remember the tombstone of Judith Myers at the head of the bed, with Annie’s dead body laid out before it? Tell me that wasn’t planned, and I’ll tell you that I just back from having lunch with Stephen King.

Even today, as an adult, I still think about Michael Myers when I stroll the streets late at night. Walking through the graveyard that is across the street from me here in Toronto. Sometimes, I keep expecting to see him peeking out from behind a tombstone. His white mask exposed by the light of the moon.

I don’t know about you, but Halloween still gives me the creeps to this day. Every time I watch it, the lights have to be turned off, and I have to be near a pillow, because I know that sooner or later I’m going to need it to hide my face in.

Ten films, 136 kills, and a legend that will live on in cinematic films for years to come, Michael Myers truly is one of the greatest fictional monsters of out time.

Welcome back to Sunday! Bloody! Sunday! and another episode of the new podcast novella, Hull’s Landing.

Now, last week was the debut episode, but in all honesty, I had some problems with the feed. Some of you may have gotten the episode twice, or not at all. If you’re one of those people that never got it, be sure to go back and download it from the website HERE.

On to this week’s episode…

It’s revealed who is behind the kidnapping of Zoe…or is it? We also get to learn more about the trapped girl, and just where the source of her strength really comes from. There’s a great shift coming in Hull’s Landing, and as Chief Bobby Walker sits down to eat, he’s greeted by the force that is going to bring about the change.

Remember, folks – this podcast novella is Rated R for strong language, adult themes, and situations.

You’ve been warned!

Welcome back to another episode of Podcaturday! This week, you’re going to hear lots of stuff, not the least of which are birds chirping in the background. That’s because I felt like recording outside. Deal with it.

Jenny and I are going on a Great Canadian Adventure later today, so you’ll hear about that. Plus, we’re taking some voicemail. Listen and gawk as a cat calls the hotline, as well as Nobilis Reed. Jenny and I may record some clips from the road to play on a future episode of Podcaturday, we’re still not sure. One thing we are sure about though, is that next week’s episode will be Canadian made, baby! Oooh, exciting!

Here’s the people you should visit this week, and what they would be if they were a bird.

Jenny Beans – Swallow

Acadia – Dodo Bird

Nobilis Reed – Woodpecker

Veronica – Hummingbird

Nicole – Pink Flamingo

Corey Graham – Bald Eagle

Enjoy the show!

What can I say about George C. Scott? The man was a brilliant actor, and his performance in this 1980 flick was one of the creepiest you’ll ever see.

This movie haunted me for years, not because I was frightened of it, but because I could never seem to get my damn hands on it. Everywhere I went in the 80s, people kept saying to me, “Have you seen The Changeling? Have you seen The Changeling?” Sadly, my response was always, “No, I haven’t.”

That lasted till sometimes in the 90s, when I finally got my grubby little hands on a copy of it. So I sat, in the dark (as you should with all haunted house movies), and proceeded to have the shit scared out of me for the next 115 minutes. Of course, it’s pretty tame by today’s standards, but The Changeling is one of those films that scares you on a whole other level. It’s not gory, it’s not disgusting, it’s just…creepy.

Here’s the lowdown from Wikipedia:

Scott stars as Dr. John Russell, a composer living in New York City, who moves cross-country to Washington state following the tragic deaths of his wife and daughter in a traffic accident while on a winter vacation in upstate New York. In suburban Seattle, Russell rents a large, old, and eerie-looking Victorian-era mansion and begins piecing his life back together.

However, Dr. Russell soon discovers that he has unexpected company in his new home when a poltergeist, the ghost of a murdered child, haunts the house. It shatters windows, abruptly opens and shuts doors, and manifests itself during a seance. Russell investigates and finds that the mystery is linked to a powerful local family, the heir of whom is a wealthy US senator.

Sound scary? It is!

The Changeling has everything you need for a good ghost story: a big old haunted mansion, a man on the verge of a nervous breakdown, atmosphere, and of course, a poltergeist.

If you haven’t seen it, check it out. You might not find it to be the scariest movie you’ve ever seen, but I’ll bet that after watching it, you’ll be walking around with the lights on for a few nights afterward.

Hey gang, listen up. My boy Corey Graham is holding a zombie flash fiction contest in conjunction with two of the best authors of the genre right now, Eric S. Brown and David Dunwoody. They’ve both been UNLEASHED (Eric’s been on 3 times) before, so you should know who I’m talking about.

Here’s what you gotta do:

They want a zombie story from you. It has to be completely original, and be no longer than 500 words. Here’s a good article to help get you familiarized with flash fiction if you’re new to it.

Type it up, put it into the body of an email message (along with your name), and send it to: corey AT midnightcorey DOT com. Please put “Zombie Flash Fiction Contest” in the subject line. (DO NOT SEND IT TO ME, JAMES MELZER. IF YOU DO, I WILL LAUGH RIDICULOUSLY BEFORE DELETING IT)

All the entries will be read by Eric S. Brown and David Dunwoody, and they will decide on the top three stories.

The prizes:

• First Place: Bigfoot War by Eric S. Brown; Empire (first edition, signed) by David Dunwoody
• Second Place: How the West Went to Hell (signed) by Eric S. Brown; UNBOUND & Other Tales (signed) by David Dunwoody
• Third Place: Kinberra Down (signed) by Eric S. Brown and Jessy Marie Roberts

The three winners will also be read on an upcoming episode of Midnight Corey’s podcast. (NOT UNLEASHED)

The deadline:

Your entries must be received by 11:59pm on July 4, 2010. Say happy birthday to America by writing a 500-word zombie gorefest!

The contest has officially begun, so start writing! Multiple submissions are allowed (in separate emails, please), but please limit to 3 entries per person.

For the record, I’ll be reading one of the winning entries, so get writing, get submitting, and if you’re lucky, GET WINNING!

Before I begin this week’s Textbook Thursday, I just want to thank everyone for spreading the word about last week’s post on Swan Song by Robert McCammon. It got such a huge response that it is now one of the most popular posts I’ve ever written for the website, and it even got the attention of Robert McCammon himself. So thanks to everyone for doing what you do best, and that’s spreading the word about my work. YOU ROCK!

Now, on to this week’s Textbook Thursday…

I don’t remember how or why I came to reading Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin, but I’m glad I did. It’s one of those books that is so simple, yet creepy, that it keeps you guessing all the way through. I had seen the movie years before I ever read the book, and honestly, I don’t think I liked it very much, but decided to give the novel a shot anyway.

From just a few pages in I was hooked. Levin did such a good job of describing Rosemary and Guy’s life that it was impossible not to like them as characters. Like Rosemary, I wanted to see Guy get a job, and was cheering right along with her. When the Castavet’s from next door made an appearance, I knew there was something not right about them. You see, even though I had seen the movie before, I somehow managed to put all of it out of my mind when I read the book, so yes, I was a little surprised at some of the things that happened.

Rosemary’s Baby was one of those books that made me want to become a writer. I read it over and over, and enjoyed it so much so, that one day I decided I was going to write a sequel to it. Keep in mind that I was young, and had no idea about Copyright. Anyway, I set out by grabbing a couple of maps of New York City, a place that was completely alien to me, going through the novel and writing down every single character that made an appearance in it, even blueprinting Guy and Rosemary’s apartment so I had it just right. Those maps were stuck to my wall with pins through all the places that were mentioned in Rosemary’s Baby so I could take a mental stroll through their life. I came to the conclusion that my sequel was going to happen right after the events in the first one, after Rosemary had the spawn of Satan and named him Andrew.

I wrote the first five chapters and then Ira Levin beat me to the punch.

Walking by a bookstore one day I saw it sitting there on the shelf. Son of Rosemary. I picked it up, flipped though it, bought it, read it, and hated every word of it. Mine was far more superior, of course. How could he do this to me? Of course, now I realize how foolish I was being, but like I said, I was young and stupid and had no idea how the world worked. Now I can see that Son of Rosemary was a great sequel, and say that I did enjoy it the second time through years later.

Back to Rosemary’s Baby, though. It truly was a great book. If you’ve never read it, I suggest you go out and grab yourself a copy. It’s not gory, it’s not horrific in the sense of the word today, but for 1967 I can see how it would scare the pants off of most people. The characters, the setting, and most of all – the plot, will keep you interested all the way through. And if you don’t get angry at what happens to Hutch, I’ll eat my hat!

Since none of you have taken me up on my offer to share this space with your weird, paranormal tales, I’m going to gush for a bit, okay?

I had never heard of the book that is shaping up to be the “summer blockbuster” until yesterday. Hell, up until yesterday I had never heard of the author, Justin Cronin. Now though, I am eagerly awaiting getting my hands on a copy of his book, The Passage, and it’s all thanks to a recommendation from Stephen King.

Let’s face it, for myself as well as thousands of other horror writers across the country, Stephen King is a God. He’ll deny it till the day he dies, I’m sure, because that’s the kind of God he is, but the fact still remains that if there was ever a person who should respond, “Yes,” to the question, “Are you a God?” it’s him.

King is the reason I started putting words down on a page so many years ago. IT was the first horror novel I ever read, and while there have been others that have come after it by different authors that I liked much more, it still has a place in my heart as the book that turned me on to the genre. Since first reading the book way back in ’87 or ’88 (I can’t remember which), I have wanted nothing more than to share my stories with the world, the way Stephen King does.

I have followed his career as a writer ever since, and while I haven’t liked every single book he’s ever written, I have no shame in admitting that I love the man. I love him for the writer he is, the person he is, the life he has led and had the courage to share with us, and the ordinary monsters he has created on top of the supernatural ones. No other writer, in my mind, even comes close to having the affect on my life that Stephen King has.

I’ve had the pleasure of hearing King talk in person twice. Both times in Toronto, Canada. The first was when he was accepting an award given to him by the Canadian Booksellers Association (that ceremony also featured Clive Barker and Margaret Atwood), and the second time was when he was promoting Under The Dome. He captivated me, made me laugh, and inspired the hell out of me. I have the poster from the CBA night next to a poster of the cover art for my own novel coming out in 2011, and while I will not even pretend to be on the same level as the man, I will say that it is my dream to one day be written about in blog posts such as this, because of the life I have led, and the words I have written.

As I watch this video of Justin Cronin on Good Morning America, I can’t help but think how lucky he is to have gotten the phone call he did. I can see the shock, and pleasure, on his face, and it makes me smile, because I know exactly how he must feel. I feel it, too, every night as I lay my head down on my pillow, and dream about the day I too, can get a phone call from Stephen King.

Today we’re going all the way to Stafford, Virginia, with a tale that comes to us from one of my co-workers, Sara Welsh. Here’s the email she sent me:

Hey James!

I grew up (mainly) in Aquia Harbor, part of Stafford,VA.  Right outside of Aquia Harbor is Aquia Episcopal Church, a rather lovely old brick building in a nice wooded area that’s been there since the 1700s.  It was used as a military hospital during the Civil War but that’s not the origin of the “tall tale.”

Back when the church was relatively new, there was a married woman who’s husband caught her in the arms of another man. After killing her lover, the husband chased the woman into the church and murdered her in the bell tower.  He was a mason and apparently bricked her body up in the tower before killing himself.  Rumor has it that when they broke through the brick years later, they found a skeleton with her golden hair still attached (of course we know this is impossible but it’s a cool story aspect).

Aquia Episcopal is actually in books as one of the most haunted churches in VA.  The woman is supposedly still there, forever tormented by her jealous, angry husband.  It’s rumored that while the church was being used as a hospital, the ghost of the woman woke up the confederate soldiers who were hiding so they could get out (the Yankees were right on top of them).  If you go into the choir loft you can see what looks like stained, dripping blood coming from the ceiling down the walls, it’s usually frigid in the church, and voices are heard often.

It’s a great church with a really creepy, old cemetery and as horror enthusiasts it sounds like you and Jenny would get a kick out of seeing it.  It’s about a five hour drive from where I live now, so it would have to be a weekend trip if y’all wanted to see.

Well that does sound like quite the tall tale, so of course I had to do some digging for myself, and not only did I find the stories Sarah was talking about (with some minor variations), but I came across some others as well.

One of them talked about a woman who became fascinated with the church in the 1920s. No one would go in with her, so she recruited two ghost hunters of the time. When she entered the church, she felt an unseen hand slap her across the face. The two men searched and searched, but found no one else inside. The mark stayed on the woman’s face for days afterward.

Another story I found had to do with a dare. Some guys, messing around, you know how boys get. One of them bet he could climb the bell tower, and to prove it, he would drive a nail into the wall with a hammer, so they knew he had been there. When he didn’t return, his friends went looking for him. They found him allright! He was still in the bell tower. Dead. Apparently he had driven the nail through his jacket and died of fright, thinking he was trapped by a ghost. Now I don’t know about that, but it’s still a pretty cool story.

Thanks to Sara for helping out with this week’s Tall Tale Tuesday. If you have something you’d like to share, send it along in an email to: jjmelzer@gmail.com.

Last week we took a trip to Canada to visit Clifford Olson. I liked it so much there that I decided to stay. This week, then, we’ll be looking at another Canadian serial killer who had the distinct pleasure(?) of being called, “The Vampire Rapist.”

Wayne Boden was raised near where I used to call home, Toronto, in Dundas, Ontario, just outside of Hamilton. During the period between 1969 and 1971, Boden claimed the lives of four women. He didn’t just kill them, though. Oh no. That would have been too easy. He raped, strangled, and bit the breasts of his victims, often mutilating them, drinking their blood for his own pleasure. The sick puppy earned “The Vampire Rapist” moniker because of that.

Even though Wayne Boden was raised in Ontario, his first three victims, Shirley Audette, Marielle Archambault, and Jean Wray, were all killed in the city of Montreal, which is in the province of Quebec. That’s one province over from Ontario, for you geographically-challenged folk.

Upon sensing that the fuzz were on to him, Boden skipped town and province, trucked 2,500 miles and landed in Calgary, Alberta. It was there that his last victim would be claimed. Elizabeth Anne Porteous. A 33-year old high school teacher.

With tips from two of her colleagues, police were able to nail Wayne Boden after staking out the car he was driving at the time. A blue Mercedes with with a bull-shaped decal in the rear window. Bull-shaped? Really, Wayne? Nothing like standing out in a crowd. Of course, this is Calgary we are talking about, so who knows.

After obtaining casts of his teeth from local orthodontist, Gordon Swann, Boden was convicted as “The Vampire Rapist.” He was sentenced to three consecutive life terms in Kingston, Ontario, and began serving his punishment on February 16, 1972.

Here’s the kicker: While in jail, American Express (Don’t leave home without it!) issued Wayne Bowden a credit card. So what does he do? He escapes while on a day pass (what?) and uses the frickin’ thing to go have a few snacks. Unbelievable. Thankfully, he was recaptured 36 hours later, and remained in prison ever since his death on March 27, 2006.

Man, what a story. “The Vampire Rapist,” eh? There’s just something so brutal about the way Boden disposed of his victims, that I don’t think there’s anything vampire about it. At least, not in the classic sense of the word. No romanticism, no mystic lore surrounding him. He was just a dude that bit some breasts and drank a bit of blood. Regardless, he was actually one of the first serial killers ever to be labeled with that stigma. Since then, there have been many other “vampire” serial killers, but Wayne Boden will always go down in the books as one of the first on record.

Wow, talk about making mama proud.

Nestled deep in the heart of Pennsylvania is the small borough of Hull’s Landing. While it may seem like just an ordinary place, The Landing holds a secret so dark, that there are those who will do anything to protect it.

For decades, young girls have been disappearing like clockwork. While some have their suspicions, the entire town lives in fear; and for good reason. When Rita Clemens, a former member of the Pittsburgh Bureau of Police, decides to make her new home in Hull’s, she begins to uncover what the locals have tried to keep hidden for so long.

As the race against time begins, Rita will have to do everything she can to protect herself, and to save a child’s life, before one of the world’s oldest evils can be unleashed.

Hull’s Landing is an original novella from the author of ESCAPE, and is Rated R for violence, adult situations, and language.

You’ve been warned!

Welcome back to another edition of Podcaturday, suckers! This week The Beans, Acadia, and I talk about cooking, 80′s movies, and Judd Nelson.

There’s some echo in this one, due to the fact that we recorded it at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. I bet Acadia that I could drink a case of lager and then fill it with my piss, but I lost. Them the breaks.

There’s a voicemail line you can call, which we forgot to mention, and last week someone actually did call, which we forgot to play. Should you want to be left out of next episode, feel free to leave us a message in The Litterbox at 206-888-1710.

Here’s who you should check out this week, and they’re favorite dish.

The Beans – Hamburgers with horseradish.

Acadia – Mac and Cheese with ketchup.

Nicole – Cookie dough.

Gordon Ramsay – Whatever he cooks.

Judd Nelson – Cream of sumyungguy.

Corey Graham – Fillet of Cthulhu.

Veronica – Peanut butter and mayonnaise.

Ah yes, Friday. A day of the week that actually means something to me now that I am no longer shackled to the weekends of retail. How glorious. It’s also a day to talk about the movies that have had a great impact on my life. From horror and suspense, to action and (dare I say) romance. Gasp! Today’s film has all of these qualities, but not in the way you might expect. In fact, nothing about this movie is what you expect, and that’s what makes it work so damn well.

I’m talking about Frailty, the 2001 flick directed by, and starring, Bill Paxton. I swear on my mothers life, if you have never seen this movie, add it to whatever list you are keeping, then move it to the top, okay?

Written by Brent Hanley, Frailty is told from the perspective of Fenton Meeks, who comes forward to the FBI and confesses that his brother, Adam, may be a serial killer known as ‘The God’s Hands Killer.’ Using flashbacks to show the lives of the two brothers growing up, it mainly focuses on their father, who believed that he was on a mission from God to destroy demons that inhabit the bodies of humans. Fenton saw his dad as evil, but Adam adored him, and would do anything to please him.

Don’t let the religious undertones of the movie scare you off. They work so subtly well that you look right past them and into the eyes of the father, played diabolically by Paxton. Through it all, you witness how one man’s sickness affects his children when they grow up. It’s an extremely well told story, and one that will resonate with you long after the credits have rolled.

I can remember shutting this one off after it was over and sitting there in awe at it. Up until that point, I don’t think a movie had impressed me to the point of me wanting to scream it from the rooftops that everyone should see it. Years later, while working at Blockbuster, whenever someone asked me for a recommendation, I put Frailty in their hands whether they wanted it or not, and they always came back and thanked me for it.

So check it out, and see for yourself how a good story is told. There’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll enjoy it.

UPDATE

After a few days of silence from the person who calls herself Zoe, I received another disturbing email last night. I don’t know what kind of game she is playing, if any, but I’ve just about had it up to here. These letters continue to get freakier and freakier each time. Either she is in trouble and this is the only way she knows how to call out for help, or it’s some kind of sick game she is playing with me. Regardless, I am seriously considering going to the authorities after this last one. What do you guys think? Should I wash my hands of Zoe and give it over to the professionals? Read on and let me know.

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When it comes to books about the apocalypse, Stephen King’s The Stand ranks up there pretty high among fans of the genre. Not for me, though. Don’t get me wrong, I love The Stand, but if you were to ask me what my favorite end of the world novel is, there’s no doubt in my mind that I would say Swan Song by Robert McCammon.

While I can’t quite remember how I stumbled across this book (it may have be