I don’t always listen to music when I write…

…but when I do, these are some of the artists I enjoy.

I am absolutely horrible when it comes to setting writing goals for myself. Self-imposed deadlines, word counts, page numbers…you name it and chances are I’ve ignored it to no end, going off to do something else rather than getting done what really needs to get done: The Writing.

So when I started TAG on May 14, I thought to myself, “I really need to buckle down and write this book.” It’s an idea that just won’t go away, one that I’ve had for some time and wanted to pen, but never sat down to start. I needed to find something that would make me write it, beyond the enjoyment of spinning something new in a world with characters I really like, because sometimes even that isn’t enough. Therefore I turned to the one thing I am addicted to right now.

Hello. My name is James and I’m a SKYRIM addict.

I’ve never been one to deprive myself of things before, but this time it’s actually working and you know what? I’m finding that for the first time in my 34 years, I like depriving myself of stuff. Seriously.

The rule is: No SKYRIM until 3,000 new words are written.

On the 14th I didn’t play SKYRIM until around 11 o’clock at night (after Monday Night Raw), yesterday I didn’t play at all because I only wrote 1,500 words or so, and today I woke up wanting desperately to jump back into it, but I didn’t. So I wrote my 3,000 words in three hours and now I’m free to do what I want with the rest of my day and not feel guilty about it because I got done what needed to get done. The Writing.

You know what, though? Yesterday when I didn’t play, I felt good about myself. Not for being unable to reach my word count, that always sucks, but for having the self-discipline to actually set to a goal and adhere to it with all my might. It was hard, I’m not going to lie, but I did it, and I know I can do it again if the opportunity presents itself (which it won’t because from now on I’m going to write my 3,000 words a day, dammit*).

So you see, an old dog can learn new tricks. I’ve been writing for a great long while now and have just picked up on this. Before I would always scoff at others who mentioned this tip, but now I’m actually finding it comes in quite handy. Almost 11,000 words in fours days is proof positive for me.

Therefore, if you’re struggling, give it a try and see if it works for you like it has for me. Deprive yourself of something. Don’t make it something you need to survive, like insulin, but make it something you really enjoy doing and can live without for a few hours. Not only will you feel good for writing words, but you’ll also feel good for having the willpower to set a goal and stick to it.

I know I do!

*we’re going on vacation the first week of June, so I’m giving myself some leeway when it comes to writing during that time. Give me a break, it’s my first visit to Disney World.

When doing the days work, I never finish off at the end of a chapter like a lot of writers I know do. I usually end my writing halfway through a chapter, sometimes mid-sentence.

When I come back to it the next day, it’s much easier to slip right back into the groove of the story without having to worry about how I’m going to write the next scene.

It helps with the procrastination, too, since I’m so jazzed about finishing off a thought or sentence that I can’t wait to get back to into it, thus Facebook, email, and all that other stuff falls by the wayside.

Give it a shot, and let me know how it works for you.

Cheers!

No, this isn’t about eBooks or the publishing world. Truth be told, I hate the term “Indie Revolution.”

It’s about television, and J.J. Abrams’ new show that I just watched the trailer for. I don’t know about you, but I’m a sucker for post-apocalyptic themes. Not stuff involving zombies, vampires, or whatever other cliché monster you want to throw at me, but rather man’s ability to deal with things gone awry. Like a worldwide blackout that shuts everything off, and it never gets turned back on. Or does it? This is Abrams we’re talking about, so who knows.

Just enjoy the trailer and marvel at the sword play, and then get excited for Monday’s again!

One of the things I like to do before I start writing is make mock book covers for the story I’m working on. Sometimes it ends up being the final cover, sometimes it doesn’t.

Anyway, here’s what I’m working on now. A young adult novel that I’ve been planning for a while. You’ll see the newly added progress bar on the side there —>

More about the plot later. For now, just enjoy my attempt at a cover.

Cheers!

Ever since I was a kid it has been a dream of mine to create an epic piece of writing. A grand tale spanning many characters, locations, motifs, etc. I’ve tried in the past to put something down on paper, but wasn’t really ready for the journey to begin, so those pages were lost to time. Recently I sat down and began crafting a new design, a new world, and have never felt more alive during the creative process.

I thought long and hard, for many years in fact, about where this story should take place. Should it be in the real world? The fantasy realm? A location completely oblivious to myself and others? Now that I’ve begun, I realize that it’s a story that must have one foot in both worlds: ours and the fantastic. That’s not to mean that you’ll find yourself in New York one chapter, and <insert made up name here> in another. No. That’s not what I mean. In the same way Middle-Earth is our world, in the same way Westeros and Essos is our world, so will this story be. Fantastical elements set within a real time and place that shadows what we already know.

As far as the inhabitants of this world go? I thought long and hard about that as well. Should there be things people already recognize? Trolls? Orcs? Goblins? Faeries? Vampires? The answer was “no.” The only thing in terms of character you’ll find similar is the human factor.

It’s been an incredible process so far, and one I’m quite pleased with. The bare bones of the story is there, laid out before me in maps and gods, rulers and history. I’ve accumulated some 20 pages of handwritten notes so far, drawn six maps, and haven’t even got to the characters and their origins yet. That will come later, after I’ve created a world so rich and real that I’ll want to play in it for however long it takes to write this series.

This is unlike anything I’ve ever done before. Usually I get an idea and just write it, flailing around in the darkness not really knowing where I’m going. There’s something to be said for that sort of process, and it has served me well in the past, but this time around there’s a different feel to what I’m doing. There’s theme and mythology, careful planning in order to keep all the different threads aligned. There’s the knowledge going into it that this piece is going to take everything I’ve ever learned as a storyteller and put it to good use, rather than just drawing from a few basic elements or teachings. This is…big, and not in the sense that it will become big and sell millions of copies, but in the sense that when I sit back and look at what I’m creating I think, “Holy shit, this is a big world with lots of stuff going on.” That kind of big.

So for now all I plan to do here is chronicle my own journey though this creative process. A diary of sorts. Not necessarily giving you glimpses into maps, character notes, designs, etc. (although there might be some of that), but rather through sharing with you the growth of a storyteller, and what it means to create something all your own, from scratch, and live in that world for an extended period. Hopefully you’ll find it as enriching as I do, and want to come along for the ride.

With news coming yesterday about the first Skyrim DLC from Bethesda this summer, I thought I’d take a moment to update those interested on what’s been going on in my world of Skyrim. If you recall, I mentioned earlier how it’s the first game to really get me back into console gaming…and it’s been awesome!

On the one game (I have two going) I’ve clocked over 180 hours of game play and am sitting at Level 62. Unfortunately when you get that high, not only is there not a lot to do anymore, but I’ve found myself running into more and more bugs. Tasks given to me by the Companions and Urag in the Arcanaeum at the College are impossible to complete because of earlier quests done in the game. For some reason a bandit leader I was supposed to kill is not there, and a book I have to retrieve I can’t get to because some gates that are supposed to open after you kill a dragon priest won’t open, because the priest was already killed like…30 levels prior, and the gates are now closed. And yes, I’ve waited for everything to respawn, but nadda. So that sort of took some of the fun out of it for me and I decided to start a new game.

On the other game I’m Level 23 I believe, and have clocked about 10-15 hours worth of game play. I’ll admit that it’s not as fun for me playing it through a second time, even with a different race/character, but it is intriguing doing things in a different order. I think a lot of this game will be spent avoiding the main quests for a while and will be devoted to just wandering around Skyrim discovering places, something I was doing a lot of toward the end of my first game. Oh, and I’ll be buying the house in Windhelm, something I couldn’t do in my other game because the Blood on the Ice quest wouldn’t work for me. I got every other house, so it only makes sense.

All-in-all though, it is still the best experience I’ve ever had with a video game, and I absolutely cannot wait for the Dawnguard DLC to drop this summer. I considered getting a 360 just so I could be first to play it, but then thought, eh, I’m good with my PS3 and I can wait the extra 30 days.

Seriously, if you haven’t played this game yet, you are definitely missing out on one hell of a RPG. So yeah…PLAY IT!

Warner Brothers recently released the third trailer for The Dark Knight Rises, which hits theaters July 20, 2012. I’m a huge fan of this series and if the trailers are any indication, this last installment in the franchise is definitely not going to disappoint!

Enjoy!

Are you a budding young writer who wants to make the leap to digital publishing but you don’t even know where to start? Do you already have a story or other content ready to be published online but you’re standing there, scratching your head, thinking that it’s just way too hard?

I have an answer for you!

Pioneers in the world of digital and online media, Evo Terra and Jeff Moriarty (two people I respect the hell out of), are running a six-week training course that will take you from the beginning to end stages of digital publishing. By the end of those six weeks you’ll be hitting the ‘publish’ button on your first project, with the knowledge and tools that you need to succeed in the online world. That’s not to say that you’re going to get rich quick, or be a super-bestseller, but you’ll have what it takes to make all those things happen should you so choose. You got to want it, and work for it, bad!

If this is the sort of the thing that interests you, check out more about the six-week training course at Evo and Jeff’s website, ePublish Unum. Want to know more about who these two crazy cats are? Check this out.

Folks, I wouldn’t be mentioning this here if I didn’t think it could help an aspiring wordsmith, so trust me when I say that if you’ve been thinking of making that jump to digital publishing but don’t know where to begin, now is the time to take hold of your dreams and go for it. Like Kevin Smith said, take the shot.

Among the many projects I have going on right now, Rob Swigart’s Portal: Reborn has got to be one of the things I am most excited about. What is it, you ask? It’s many things, but to put it simply: it is the reimagining of the classic 80′s computer game, which was one part computer novel, and one part interactive game.

The story is an intriguing one. It’s a science fiction tale about an astronaut who unexpectedly returns home after a failed hundred year voyage to find all the inhabitants of Earth have vanished into thin air, the remnants of civilization decaying in their absence. The animals are fine and run wild across the planet. There are no signs of violence. Humanity is simply… gone. A biological storytelling A.I. patterned after the Greek poet, Homer, must aid this last human in uncovering the mystery of mankind’s disappearance, a mystery inextricably tied to the past of a bright, young boy named Peter Devore. Unlocking forbidden science, he is hunted across the planet. In a race against time with people willing to kill to stop him, his actions will change mankind forever…

Myself and a whole host of creative talent are on-board to develop content for the reimagining of Portal, but we need your help to do it. Producing and creating video games is costly, and to make it all happen Subliminal Games has started a Kickstarter campaign to raise funds to bring Portal to your computer in the near future.

I know times are tough for everyone, but every little bit helps. Your pledge for Portal will go a long way in not only helping to create the game, but you’ll also get some pretty cool swag in the process. So head on over to the Kickstarter page and check out more about the project and just who’s involved. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

I watched this video (NSFW due to language) yesterday from a Kevin Smith Q&A and it really was inspiring, so I thought I’d share it with you all since I know how much you love videos.

Share your thoughts in the comments below and let me know what you think.

So I’m sure by now you’ve all heard the saying, “Dance like nobody is watching,” right? Yeah, me too. It’s a phrase I like, and while I don’t always follow the hidden meaning behind it (*spoiler alert* – it’s not about dancing), I enjoy seeing other people that do. More specifically, I enjoy seeing people who do exactly what it says, and that’s dance.

There have been dozens, if not hundreds, of videos around of people kicking off their Sunday shoes to strut their stuff in public. Recently though I came across this one on You Tube of Angela Trimbur getting down at the Galleria Mall in Sherman Oaks, California. It’s an awesome video to watch, as Angela is not only attractive, but damn, that girl can dance! It’s cool to see the way people interact with her as well, and what she does to grab their attention as they pass on by.

However, what interested me most about this video was not the dancing, but the song that was playing. Fancy Footwork by Chromeo. I’d never heard of it, or the band before until I saw this. So that sent me on down the rabbit hole. First to iTunes, and then on to Spotify (an amazing service where you can pretty much hear anything you want in full before buying it). I’m currently listening to it as we speak, and it’s got me to thinking that I need to stretch my musical wings more. While I’ve never been a big fan/critic of music, it always seems to be there at the most opportune time in my life, and hearing this song made me realize that there’s a whole whack of good music out there that I’ve never had the pleasure of listening to because I’ve just never had the time, or never really cared to go exploring.

So with that said, I’ll leave you to watch the video, and go do some exploring of your own. Who knows, like me you just might stumble upon some new bands that you like, or maybe even make your own video of yourself dancing like nobody is watching. But if you do, be sure to let me know, because I’d love to see it.

This weekend was spent watching movies, playing Skyrim, and on Sunday, exploring Pottermore for three hours since I finally got my access email late Saturday evening. Yay! I’ll have more on Pottermore at a later date, but for now let’s just say I’m having an incredible experience over there.

Anyhoo…I got to watching Stephen King’s IT and managed to sit through all 187 minutes of it in one go. I hadn’t seen it in quite some time, but I remember that when I first saw it back in the day I thought it was pretty awful. This time around, not so much. I mean, it wasn’t stupendous or anything like that, but for a TV adaptation it wasn’t half bad (my favorite TV adaptation of King’s is Desperation, btw). That got me to thinking, “What are some of my favorite books-to-film flicks?”

So I made a list. Remember how I told you I like making lists? Yeah…

Here they are in no particular order, ten of my favorite big screen adaptations.

1. JAWS

2. The Exorcist

3. Harry Potter (The entire series)

4. No Country for Old Men

5. The Silence of the Lambs

6. The Lord of the Rings (Trilogy)

7. A Time to Kill

8. The Blind Side

9. Frankenstein

10. Million Dollar Baby

There you have it. Ten of my favorites. Not my ten all-time favorites. How about you? What are some of your most excellent book to screen adaptations? I’d love to find out. Share them in the comments below and let’s discuss.

Slowly but surely Pottermore.com is finally opening to the public after a lengthy delay. This morning I went to the home page, signed up, got a random username generated for me (GhostSword3939), and presto! I am now a member of the website. The catch is I now have to wait for an email that will tell me when I can access all the features and benefits of this…experience.

*le sigh*

I’m not going to lie, I’m super excited about all this. Harry Potter has been a part of my life in some form or fashion for the last 11 years. 11 years, man. That’s a long time, and with the recent release of the eBooks (I purchased them all on the first day) it has only spurred my interest in this global phenomenon once again. I absolutely cannot wait to delve deeper into the HP universe through Pottermore, exploring all that it has to offer.

So until I get my email allowing me full access to the website, I am left to twiddle my thumbs, write this blog post, and ask, “What about you? Are you excited for Pottermore and this resurgence of the HP craze?”

I just hope it turns out to be all that JK Rowling has promised, and more!

Growing up I cut my teeth on horror with such movies as JAWS, A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and of course, Friday the 13th. The 80′s was the era of slasher films, and looking back on these movies today I can’t help but say to myself, “What was I thinking?” There was nothing redeeming about them. They had no likeable characters really, and they were filled with plot holes so big you could fly the Millenium Falcon through them.

So why did we watch them?

For the kills, man. The kills.

The Friday the 13th series is the perfect example of this. Each movie would feature a group of clueless teens heading off into the woods (or space, or a group home, or Manhattan), and low and behold ol’ Jason would be there to pick them off one by one. The only reason we kept watching movie after movie after movie was to see how creative he could be when it came to hacking and slashing his way through said group of teens.

Here then, is a smorgasbord of kills featuring our favorite hockey masked serial killer to bring you back to a more simpler time, when horror was unapologetic, and the breasts were real.

If there’s one thing Coca-Cola knows about, it’s marketing. The soda giant has been battling it out for decades with Pepsi and together the two have waged a carbonated war all across the globe.

Personally, when I did drink pop (yes I call it “pop”) I was the choice of a new generation. However, you have to hand it to Coke for this little bit of genius shown down below. What a clever idea. Get people to hug a soda machine and presto! A free can shoots out. So they’re getting a free beverage, and associating that beverage with one of the greatest things ever – a hug! Truly a stroke of genius right there.

Well played, Coca-Cola. Well played.

]]> http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/have-you-hugged-your-coke-today/feed/ 0 http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/joss-whedon-on-buffy-firefly-and-more/ http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/joss-whedon-on-buffy-firefly-and-more/#comments Wed, 11 Apr 2012 12:31:57 +0000 James http://jamesmelzer.net/?p=3623

Apparently I need to keep up more with the Internet happenings, because there was a Q&A on Reddit with Joss Whedon the other day and I missed it. Of course, I don’t have a Reddit account, but that could have been easily rectified I reckon.

Anyway, as a longtime fan of both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly, I found the recap of the Q&A session by The Hollywood Reporter pretty cool. When asked about doing a Kickstarter campaign to raise funds to buy the rights to Firefly back and do a season two, Whedon responded:

“Step 2: Cancel Castle. Step 3: Cancel Homeland. Step 4: Generally destroy everybody’s careers. Step 5: Avoid Step 2.”

Basically he was saying that the stars are not aligned. They are doing other things, have other commitments and projects to work on. A second season of Firefly just isn’t going to happen…at least not any time soon (see my inner fanboy holding on to hope there?).

Then, when asked about his reputation for killing off people and the hardest character he’s ever had to snuff, Whedon had this to say:

“I actually find it refreshing… delightful…. vaguely arousing….

Actually, I’m, no offense, very tired of being labelled as “the guy who kills people”. Shakespeare (he’s this hot new writer) does it way more than me, and everyone’s all excited about how he, as it were, holds a mirror up to nature, while I’m like the Jason Voorhees of the writing community. Unfair.

Also, probably Buffy’s Mom.”

Too cool! The Body has got to be in my top 5 episodes of BtVS ever. Hmm, maybe I should do a list about those? To know that he agonized a little over bumping off Joyce makes me smile, because that was such a powerful hour of television. Kudos to you for that Joss, and every other thing you’ve ever done. Well, almost everything (*cough* Dollhouse *cough*).

After reading through the interview a little, I’m even more excited to see Cabin in the Woods and The Avengers now. I mean, I was going to see them anyway, but now…I’ll be first in line!

Speaking of Buffy, I picked up Volume 1 and Volume 2 of the novel collections that were released a few years back. When I get around to reading them, I’ll let you know what I thought.

]]> http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/joss-whedon-on-buffy-firefly-and-more/feed/ 4 http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/h-p-lovecraft-and-stephen-king-nsfw/ http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/h-p-lovecraft-and-stephen-king-nsfw/#comments Wed, 11 Apr 2012 01:29:08 +0000 James http://jamesmelzer.net/?p=3614

I laughed my ass of when I saw this earlier today, courtesy of my wife, Jennifer.

It’s the Stephen King quote that does it for me. I can picture him sitting there, shrugging his shoulders, shaking his head and saying, “I don’t know what the fuck is going on.”

In the words of the Internet: LOL!

Speaking of Stephen King, here’s a very cool interview with him courtesy of Neil Gaiman and Discordia 19.

http://www.discordia19.com/main/2012/4/9/neil-gaiman-interviews-stephen-king.html

You should check it out. Not only does it mention a new novel he’s writing called Joyland, but it also talks about how he’s thinking of George Lucas-ing The Dark Tower 5 & 6.

Oy!

]]> http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/h-p-lovecraft-and-stephen-king-nsfw/feed/ 0 http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/lists-5-novels/ http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/lists-5-novels/#comments Tue, 10 Apr 2012 12:10:32 +0000 James http://jamesmelzer.net/?p=3608

Every once in a while I enjoy making random lists. Sounds random, right? I know!

Anyway, I thought I’d share some of these lists with you from time to time, just for kicks.

Here’s the first one. It’s a list of five of my favorite novels* in no particular order, with links to Amazon should you wish to check them out. All of them have had somewhat of an influence on me, but most of all these just books just resonated in my soul long after I put them down.

1. The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers

2. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver

3. The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty

4. Swan Song by Robert McCammon

5. Salem’s Lot by Stephen King

What about you? What are some of your favorite reads?

*notice I didn’t say “my five favorite novels,” meaning that there could be more, so watch out for future book lists.

]]> http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/lists-5-novels/feed/ 0 http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/impasse/ http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/impasse/#comments Mon, 09 Apr 2012 21:37:29 +0000 James http://jamesmelzer.net/?p=3603

Talented director and longtime friend to Jenny and I, Michael Bekemeyer is utilizing Kickstarter to fund his new short film, IMPASSE, which is written by the equally talented Jeanne Veillette Bowerman.

The two of them can explain what it’s all about much better than I ever could, so I suggest checking out their Kickstarter page for more details, or watching the short video below to learn more about the project. I will say that if you decide to help fund this project like I have, you will not be disappointed. Michael is a great guy, a super-talented filmmaker, and his passion for movies is unmatched in anyone I’ve ever met before. You’re money will definitely be going toward a worthy cause, and will help Michael to continue doing what he does best…making films.

]]> http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/impasse/feed/ 0 http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/peep-show/ http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/peep-show/#comments Mon, 09 Apr 2012 13:43:23 +0000 James http://jamesmelzer.net/?p=3599

Because Easter was yesterday and this is funny…

]]> http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/peep-show/feed/ 0 http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/rear-window-timelapse/ http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/rear-window-timelapse/#comments Mon, 09 Apr 2012 11:58:11 +0000 James http://jamesmelzer.net/?p=3590

I’m a big fan of classic movies, and not just horror flicks either. Sure, I like a good Dracula or Creature from the Black Lagoon just as much as the next guy, but I also have an appreciation for those films made during the Golden Age of Hollywood cinema that didn’t try and make you cover your eyes or run from the theater screaming. Films like Giant, Casablanca, It’s a Wonderful Life, and of course, Gone With the Wind. All those and more are what truly made me appreciate the medium and just what went in to making a good movie.

Getting back to the more suspenseful side of things though, is a movie director that was way ahead of his time. He created films that shocked and awed, and yes, made people scream for their mommies. I’m talking about Alfred Hitchcock, and movies such as Psycho, The Birds, North by Northwest, and others, had a deep, lasting effect on me growing up. One film in particular that I remember is Rear Window, the story about a professional photographer who breaks his leg one summer and is confined to a wheelchair. He passes the time by looking out his window at all the neighbors in his apartment complex. Spying on them, really. All is well and good until he suspects one of these folks for committing murder. Then the tension really picks up and we’re left to wonder if what the photographer saw was real, or if his mind is just playing tricks on him (for you modern audiences, see: Disturbia).

Anyway, I said all that to bring you to this. Filmmaker Jeff Desom has taken every scene show from the photographer’s window in the movie, and cut them together into a timelapse work of art that is truly stunning. If you’ve seen the movie, you’ll know what I mean. If not, I highly suggest going out and renting it, and then coming back and watching this video. Either way, you’re in for a real treat.

Enjoy!

]]> http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/rear-window-timelapse/feed/ 0 http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/the-most-astounding-fact/ http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/the-most-astounding-fact/#comments Sun, 08 Apr 2012 12:22:06 +0000 James http://jamesmelzer.net/?p=3580

When you stop to think…
it really is.

]]> http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/the-most-astounding-fact/feed/ 0 http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/the-little-things/ http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/the-little-things/#comments Sat, 07 Apr 2012 21:33:22 +0000 James http://jamesmelzer.net/?p=3571

I found this on Facebook and was moved by it, so I thought I’d share it here. I’ve been married for almost fourteen months now and yes, I’ve been guilty of missing the little things sometimes in my relationship with Jenny. Yes, I’m not perfect, and it’s easy to slip into a  groove with one another that you can easily take for granted. Things like this are a nice reminder to take a moment and appreciate the life we have together, and to revel in the little details of our marriage.

Call me a sap, I am what I am

PS – The picture came with the post.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up

]]> http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/the-little-things/feed/ 2 http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/happy-easter/ http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/happy-easter/#comments Sat, 07 Apr 2012 12:32:07 +0000 James http://jamesmelzer.net/?p=3561

Just a quick note to wish all my friends and family a happy Easter. Since the holiday is all about bunnies, here’s the furry cartoon critters from Angry Alien Productions summing up some of my favorite flicks in 30 seconds or so.

]]> http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/happy-easter/feed/ 0 http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/skyrim/ http://jamesmelzer.net/2012/04/skyrim/#comments Sat, 07 Apr 2012 01:21:36 +0000 James http://jamesmelzer.net/?p=3535

After stepping away from the gaming world for more than 20 years, I came back to it in mid-2011 with the purchase of a PS3. Man, games sure have come a long way since I was a kid!

I started small, playing Lego Batman and a few other “kids” games while getting used to the feel of the controller in my hand. Back in my day we had 2 buttons to navigate, now there’s at least eight. From there I moved on to a staple in my life: wrestling. I played the shit out of WWE ’12 day in and day out and loved every second of it. The graphics blew me away, the game play was smooth, and the action was stunning. It was hands down the best wrestling game I’d ever played (considering the last pro wrestling game I played was, well, Pro Wrestling, that’s not saying a lot). I longed for something more, though. Something I could lose myself in for hours and hours. After seeing my wife, Jenny, get all obsessed over Skyrim, I decided to sit down one night and give it a try.

One week and 70+ hours of game play later I was Level 35!

It’s hard to describe what it is about Skyrim that makes it so damn good. I’ve never really been in to RPGs or fantasy or anything of the sort, but when I began playing this game I was instantly hooked in to the story, the world, the life. When I shut it off, I couldn’t wait to turn it back on and pick back up where I left off; harvesting berries, mining ore veins, fighting dragons, thieving with the guild, fast travelling to Whiterun to see my Companions and drop stuff off at my house. It was intense! Finally a game I could be in control of and do what I want, when I wanted to.

Since then I’ve become sort of a Skyrim junkie, and so has Jenny. We bought the Collector’s Edition just for the 200 page art book, DVD, and Alduin PVC statue, listened and downloaded fan-created content, bought the four-disc soundtrack, and I’ve been learning about Tamriel and the previous Elder Scrolls games online. We also bought Oblivion, but I have yet to play it.

So needless to say my venture back into the world of video games has been a success. I’m looking forward to eventually playing other games besides Skyrim, but for now I’m quite happy going back and forth between Whiterun and Riften, doodging giants and killing Skeevers.

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